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Saturday, May 8, 2021
Home Features You’ll have to go left, PM

You’ll have to go left, PM

Well, John B, over these next five years you will be the father of a nation that even prior to Covid-19 was in desperate shape, and it won’t take long for the people to know if you love this Belize as much as Fidel loved Cuba.

Oh how desperately our little country needed to end corruption, and poor wealth creation and distribution, but your predecessor, when he inherited the legacy, it was mostly about him, his ego, not us. He enlisted his family to fight cases in court which he knew, must have known, our country could not win.

He gave fodder to Belizeans who don’t understand this country’s fight against colonialism when he put his boy in charge of BTL. You yourself might need to check up on our history, what the fight was all about when we embarked on the journey to independence. It was not because we were looking for any foreigners to come and save us. They were to be minority partners, not become gods here.

History will say that Barrow chose his unlikely faamli dem. If he was thinking about Belize when he measured his two leaders, Faber and Saldivar, and decided that Pere was a better talent to lead, why, then, did he try to squeeze Pere in Port Loyola when he had those two safe seats in Mesopotamia and Queen’s Square?

This UDP coddled corruption and rudeness, and history will say they were routed and they did no penance, they never wore sackcloth. I told you, in the nicest way I could put it, that there’s something very wrong with this UDP configuration in the House. They did us a service by walking out, and for a good while they should stay out, and during that time that they are out they should be made to view weekly regurgitations of the many ways Barrow and Finnegan totally disrespected our House of Representatives. But people who are enamored with theater thought it quite exciting.

We must have an opposition; what we need right now is a real shadow Cabinet, and I nominate Patrick Rogers, Mose Hyde, Paul Morgan, Hubert Enriquez, Bobby Lopez, Aria Lightfoot, Audrey Matura, Wil Maheia, and Nefretery Marin, fu start.

PM, our country has a wide open vacancy for a father of the nation who wants to continue the unfinished revolution, and you have five years to do it. Everything about your past says right wing, ah, but everything about our present time says go left, go left if you love Belize and treasure the opportunity the people have given you.

Maybe if there was no pandemic the people might have been game for another try at laissez faire, but this stiff wind in our face won’t allow it. Naa, I’m not worried about the budget, that it mightn’t be sufficiently people over things. I hope to read it this week, and if he went too far right noh fret, he can always tear up parts of it, because it’s just paper.

Braa, you inherited a bad hand, a far tougher hand than the original father of the nation or any of our other fathers of the nation faced. Things are terrible on the financial front, troubles are all around, and it really looks like when it rains it pours bikaaz gudnis grayshos, on top of that you have to rein in Chebat.

I think I know why Chebat is a bad one

If we want to get to the bottom of why a brother is bad, the first thing is to go to his past. Me, I believe in profiling. Life is simple. If you belong to a church, I trust you, and if you are a devil atheist, I don’t. I say, begin from the beginning. No stone must be left unturned if we really feel he is a bad sort, and we do, so let’s get on with the pedigree.

First we’ll look to the Zodiac, and I don’t mean that sham month-by-month thing, not so ataal. Do you know why all Belizean children are autistic and rude? Simple, it’s the period we live in. Ever since the army of ten thousand invaded, yes, that army that George Price was trying to keep out and Said Musa warned about, we gone down the creek.

Looking at the Zodiac, the brother was born in 1969. Need I say more? Look, everybody in Belize that year was radical, including the Chebat baby. Yes, I know you see the alignment of the stars here.

Next we go to the apellido. The Wiki says Jewish, and then we draw a blank, but through experience, thank gudnis, I know how to fill in the spaces.

Open your eyes and look at the “Che” before the “bat”. You do know about the great Che! He saw what they did to Jacobo Arbenz in Guatemala, how his revolution was overrun by the capitalists because he was a kind brother, so when Fidel got control of Cuba, after he was denied access to the democratic process by Dictator Batista, he and Che played very rough ball until the Batistas escaped to Florida.

Lastly on the profile, to complete the goods on him, we look at his first name, to see if there might be any unhappiness there. Ah, Michel, this name is both female and male, except for the spelling. Don’t underestimate a first name…the boy named Sue actually whipped his pop because of that, remember.

“Michel” also has famous history, a translation of the name of the great archangel Michael, but that, which should be positive to his account, unfortunately is negated by this Lord that took advantage of our gullible leaders. However, however, his first name does end up slightly on the plus side, because it is the name of the great French footballer, Michel Platini, and, clap your hands before you and bow: it is the name of the world’s most fabulous banana, the Gros Michel. Would that Panama disease disappear from the earth!

There, we’ve got our profile. 1969 and the Che are clearly on the bad (radical) side, and the Michel is a slight positive. I’m sorry, Johnny, but the math is damning…it’s your party so you’ll have to rein him in.

Maybe he isn’t that bad

Our new Minister of Health and Wellness, Michel Chebat, has earned himself an A plus for his ministry’s handling of the pandemic thus far, and in the world of important things there isn’t anything that compares at this time, but he’s earned a lot of Mr. Unlikeable points for his ministry shifting the portfolio of the very popular Dr. Manzanero and pushing around some other senior public officers, and some Questionable Integrity points for using limited foreign exchange to purchase six vehicles.

In the Mr. Unlikeable department, hmm, I knew a brother named Cunil, a former quarantine officer, who fell out of favor with some lee minister and he got brushed from Corozal Town to Independence to Jalacte. Seriously, the story I yer is that moving certain public officers around is standard procedure, and it is done to keep the system healthy. As for moving Dr. Manza, I still don’t know what’s the beef there. Chebat came, he saw, he chose someone else. Maybe in normal times he wouldn’t have had license to do that, but in pandemic times nothing is set in stone.

As for the Questionable Integrity, on the surface this looks like standard pre-Covid capitalist pig (See Animal Farm) behavior. I really don’t know the full disclosure here, so I’ll just comment that this brother has been great in handling the pandemic, and for once we should have leaders who don’t bring their baggage with them.

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