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Ideas and Opinions – How homosexuals became gay

It might have begun with this encounter between a member of the homosexual fraternity and a being from another world. He was a brilliant PR man, who had been given the task to find a word to describe homosexuals, hereafter to be referred to as “HMXS.” A word that would make the fraternity think better of themselves and, that would appeal to the people HMXS refer to as “straight.” This was important because, the majority of straight people tend to be kind-hearted and generous, thinking that all homosexuals suffer from an affliction.

The PR man was at a desk in his study, where he had been for many hours trying to find the right word. Around him were rolled up note papers strewn all over the floor, containing his discarded efforts. He was getting tired and sleepy. Five long hours without a break. Oh, yes, some of these HMXS are committed, as well as, talented. He was about to get up and retire to wherever HMXS go to retire, when he felt that there was something in his left ear and, a small mouth whispered, “Wait, I have the word you have been looking for.”

He didn’t know it but, there was a tiny little demon curled up in his ear, lying on his back, with his hands behind his head, as if he were in a hammock. At another time, the PR man would have jumped up and run out of the house, thinking he was being pursued by a ghost, but now he was desperate and, would listen to the devil himself.

“What is the word?” asked the PR man.

“You’ll be surprised,” said the Imp.

“No, I will not be surprised. Very little surprises me. What is the word?”

“We are going to play a great trick on these straight people,” said the Imp.

“That I like to hear; that appeals to me very much. There are some straight people that I would like to send to a certain place, if I had my way, “said the PR man.

“Stop, one more word about that place and I’ll leave,” said the Imp.

The PR man was silent. He knew it was wise to be patient.

The Imp continued, “It will be a great trick, because the word you are going to choose is one that the straights love to use. It conjures up beautiful pictures in their minds and memories of great times, and from now on, they will have to do without it. Their suffering will be so deliciously intense. They will be devastated. I would feel sorry for them, if I were not a demon.”

“I like the word already; please tell me,” said the PR man.

“You should know better than to say please to an Imp but, it begins with a “g” and ends with a “y” and before you tell me that the ‘straights’ will laugh you to scorn, let me explain. The word is “gay”, which is the great trick we will be playing on the straights,” said the Imp.

“Won’t they hate us?” asked the PR man.

“Not if you say the letters of the words form an acronym. That should be easy for a man like you.”

“Is that all?” asked the PR man.

“No, that is only the beginning. You have to act the part. You have to behave as if you really enjoy being the way you are. You have to put on gay parties. Invite the straights to your parties and show them a gay time. You will be on the way to acceptancy, then recognition. Next, real power, when you organize yourselves and become a voting bloc. The rest is up to you.”

PR man: You are a very smart little devil. I like your scheme. I suppose you expect to be paid.

Imp: I usually charge for my services in advance. We usually collect whether we charge or not. In this case, we will be well paid if you succeed in your ventures. The rest will be a bonus.

There was a gleam in the Imp’s eye when he said the last sentence. It gave the PR man, a sense of foreboding.

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