(This column was first published in the Amandala issue of May 3, 1995)

Absentee voting … extensions …

The trial balloon recently floated by the Elections and Boundaries Commission above the body politic of Belize, allowing for absentee voting, is a good idea. In fact as one thinks about it, it can be elaborated into an epoch making one, while simultaneously earning us some money by extending it in the following ways:

First the money: all non-residents of Belizean birth will pay $1000 US yearly to the Government of Belize for the privilege. With about 65,000 of us in the United States this will contribute to the treasury of Belize $130,000,000 yearly. Additionally, all the other non-residents such as those from Hong Kong, Taiwan, India, et al will pay $1500 US yearly. They will also contribute the equivalent amount to support this tax structure of the Town Boards, the City Council, and the National Government. It is understood that the cost of setting up the electoral machinery in the respective countries will be borne by them.

We will facilitate these various communities of non-resident Belizeans to put up their own candidates for our legislature. They do not need to come to Belize to campaign at all. In this age of Microsoft windows, etc., they can telemeter their campaign speeches to the electors of Belize on TV screens placed in the parks and neighborhoods throughout the country. When elected they can render their decisions to a wider TV screen set up in the House.

If they should one day decide to unite to nominate a leader because they’re dissatisfied with the one the natives have chosen, and if this leader then wins the majority vote, he too need never come to Belize. He can fax his programs and decisions to the House, and appear on the screens to tell us his whys and hows for same.

In the interest of fair play the local candidates will be allowed to travel to these communities of Tai-Belizeans, Indo-Belizeans, Belize-Americans et al to campaign for their votes. Unfortunately, the green card holders will have a decided advantage in this scenario, but then whoever said life was fair.

We will be the first nation to truly demonstrate the universal brotherhood of man. We will truly be the first International Country.

With authority comes responsibility, of course, so we natives would expect that in times of national crisis, such as a threat to our national sovereignty and territorial integrity, our overseas representatives will rush to our defence. We will expect them to fax their expertise, send by satellite dish their money and fire-power to us, and telemeter their images to the plazas of the belligerent nation admonishing them to cease and desist (from such actions of taking over) this beautiful Jewel of our Branch Banks at the cost of being media-blitzed into the sea.

I have no doubt that our commission of qualified, university trained professionals will have no difficulty in rewriting our constitution to effect the changes necessary for the above scenario, and, most importantly, to pragmatise it.

In the course of time, after they’ve gained control, our non-resident residents may decide to make some changes of their own; for one thing they may decide to rescind the fees for voting; or they may cancel the need for learned commissions; or decide to vote by proxy; or better, cancel the need for the local legislature; or best yet, to just sell the whole country lock, stock and barrel, after advertising it globally on WagerNet.

Tonto.