“No wonder the wisest men of Western Civilization have always proposed modesty of dress, especially for women.”
– Paul Rodriguez on pg. 14 of Amandala of Wednesday, October 30, 2013
“No, Mr. Rodriguez, it is the most UNCIVILIZED men of the world who propose ‘modesty of dress’ for women. Civilized men are in full control of their faculties and urges and feel no need to overpower, control, or exert power over anyone, including women.”
– Wendy Auxillou on pg. 14 of Amandala of Wednesday, November 6, 2013
I have read that most female rape victims are acquainted with their attackers. From a distance we tend to think that most rapes involve a vile male who is a total stranger using force to violate a vulnerable lady in the darkness. But my readings say that the rapist and his victim have usually had some kind of social contact.
In America I found that young ladies of college age were often willing to do heavy necking, but they were able to make a considered decision even when they appeared to be aroused passionately. In other words, those same young ladies could and would prevent you from the sex act, which is to say, penetrating.
The culture in Belize was different at the time, it appeared to me. Once things had reached a certain stage, Belizean young ladies were more willing to go all the way. They were less inhibited, more reckless then?
Understand me, I was not doing research. This is just how things appeared to me. The point I want to make is that some ladies wait to put up the stop sign until a male may feel compromised, so to speak. The male may believe that the lady took him too far down the road to heaven before she chose to say no.
The liberated woman believes that whatever becomes the case, it’s the male’s problem, and she always has that right to say no at any point, no matter how advanced. In our “Western” culture, that is the dilemma in which we males place ourselves or have been placed. A lady can entice and titillate us to the point where we become crazy with desire, and then refuse to cooperate.
In Islamic culture, the belief is that the woman is already exciting enough without her playing any kinds of games with her clothing or makeup or whatever. So they have imposed restrictions on female attire and behavior. I am an Islamic sympathizer living in a Christian society. I am troubled by the aggressive sexuality of some Belizean women, because I consider it distracting. But most Belizean men I know are happy with the situation the way it is.
As an older man, a grandfather, when I drive down the street and a sexy young, lady is walking towards me on the sidewalk, I try to keep my eyes on the street, for driving purposes in the first instance. Sometimes, however, such young ladies are looking at me, and it occurs to me that they deserve to be looked at and that this is something they wish for so as to affirm their beauty and their desirability. The outstanding woman may not need any affirmation, but I believe in Belize she will usually welcome it if she considers the male acceptable, so to speak.
The dilemma for an older man is this. If you look too hard, quite apart from the driving danger, you may be thought of as a “dirty old man.” If you don’t look, on the other hand, you are “disrespecting” the quality of the lady, and you may even be saying to the lady that you are a non-performer.
Strictly speaking, I guess a male should not look too hard because the male may incite lust in himself. There are cases, nevertheless, where the lady’s gaze is challenging. The culture of Belize is inherently and too often “risky.” Ladies who are in supposedly permanent relationships walk on the street as if they are eligible or available. Men who are committed to female partners behave the same way. Belize City is a place where there are a lot of sexual sparks. You can’t deny that.
I said before that I am an Islamic sympathizer. But, the women of Belize have demanded and obtained the right to be as sexy as they want to be. I respect that right, and I abide by it. I have thought about the fact that most males I know are comfortable with this. In fact, I know males who actually want their personal ladies to flaunt “it,” because these are males who are totally confident of their manhood. They believe that no male dares go too far with their lady, and that they will make any fool pay who disrespects. Personally, I don’t believe that I can discipline any man who walks the street, so I hold a different perspective on things.
I have usually hesitated to write about these things because I don’t want to sound as if I am preaching to young people. The one thing I would say is this, that in the climate of sexual sparks that rules in Belize, young ladies are heavily tempted to show what they’ve got. “Everybody’s doing it.” Later on, when they have entered a serious relationship, some of the images from their past may provoke jealousy from their male mate. So, the cost of early female indiscretion may be moments of instability later on when one wishes to settle down and raise a family. I don’t know if it is the case that most males are insecure, but for sure a lot of us are.
So then, we as a society have an interest in protecting the quality of our young ladies as best we can, because they become spouses and mothers, which is to say, the building blocks of our families. Our society is under attack from foreign wealth. Our young ladies are the targets. They have achieved freedom, so they make their own rules. It is what it is.
This is a serious topic. One of the explosive aspects of it is trying to decide if and when a woman creates problems for herself. The position of women’s leaders is that a woman never creates problems for herself, that the problem is always the male’s. I respect the women leaders’ way of looking at things. But I believe a woman can become reckless and endanger herself. This could never get the male attacker off the hook. How could it?
The greatest thing is to love and be loved in return. I believe that. Males who become predators are disgracing their own selves. More horrific, the violence such men do to their victims is traumatic, permanent, and beyond measure. When the rules of the beautiful game are broken, the result is hysteria.