Features — 24 August 2019
Barrow, down; Musa, down; Goldson still up

I, for one, do not want to say anything bad about Mr. Wilfred Elrington, especially not at this time, because it isn’t right to put weight on a brother’s shoulders when it seems his enemies are tearing at him like wild cats on innocent game. Sedi is a human, so he must have sins – yes, among them is that he has sneezed at the intelligence of us regular folk — wait, forget all my concerns about enemies at his door, how dare he say we donsi when we questioned his behavior in the Sarstoon and his discourse about artificial lines separating countries?

No, I can’t forget his enemies at the door. I don’t know the innards of the land case, but I don’t see Mr. Elrington as a man who would scamp anybody, so I pray that all works out well for him. I noh sih teef in him, but there’s his cruel mind games, and that’s the low wikidnis I’m calling his name about today. Really, what is his profit in this rotten billboard game he is playing?

It is standard practice that all the litter is taken down, banners and paste-ups on lamp posts, after the political fray, but for some sinister reason there are TWO loud billboards left standing on the George Price Highway since the end of the ICJ referendum campaign. No, one of them isn’t Barrow and Musa, two old men kissing and making up as they approach the last years of their journey to heaven, or to hell. (Most people think they are doomed, that nothing they do now can pay for all their wrongs and failures when they were at the helm, but thank God, for them, we down here have NO say on whom the BIG BOSS will smile at, and whom he will tell to pick up a fire-engine red suit and a little fork and find the gate down.)

Mr. Elrington said that NO billboard told the Belizean people to say YES to the ICJ, but one of the two select signs he has left standing says: “End The Claim Now. Vote.” There is something really mean about Mr. Sedi Elrington, something deep within his soul that makes him feel superior, that’s the explanation I have for that horrible in-our- face billboard. That unconscionable bohga lied, he knows he lied, and he rubs it in by leaving up, for months and months, and counting, the sign that damns his words to hell.

I wish I was smart enough to figure out the full devilishness of his mind. What I know is that Burning Spear said Christopher Columbus is a daam blasted liar. Does the Honorable Elrington want to be counted with that Kom-Bok-Us crowd?

Somebody has to ask why the face of our hero, Philip Goldson, is still on a billboard on the George Price Highway, long after the face of George Price, and the faces of the other leaders of this country, have been torn down and set to flames at the garbage disposal site. It’s like somebody – anybody guess Mr. Sedi? — is trying to lay all the blame on our hero for the ICJ decision.

 Seriously, stop playing your games with our Mr. Goldson. He sacrificed his life for this country. He never sold out. He spoke truth to power when he could have taken plums for himself and his family. Look, even the party that he helped form, when he spoke truth to power to them, they forced him out.

It is true that his price, if he had sold out, wouldn’t have been as high as that of some, because he was black, not brown, or paylkaypm. The only thing Mr. Goldson got from this country was the love of some of us. Ask anyone who was close to him and they will tell you that he and his family didn’t get material wealth from this country he loved and sacrificed so much for.

Mr. Elrington, the high/low thinker, might have reasons beyond the minds of regular folks, for keeping those two billboards in the faces of all who travel on the highway. He is an elected representative, and if we follow the line by the PM of the country, that means they are gods for five years. George Price, whose face got dumped from his signboard months ago, rolled the same way too. He said the minority will have its say, but the majority will have their way. Well, I am in the minority. I had my say.

Sedi and his friends can rest easy that I am not like those bohgaz who bon tire to smoke out the traitors. Oh, there is a third sign, but we can ignore that one.

I read a piece by Ms. Marion Ali in the Reporter last week, about the tourist who we thought had peed. The week before, Marion wrote about it too, and I learned in that report that the man hadn’t done what we all thought that he did, that the reason his bare butt could be seen was a deliberate act, done by the man because his friends liked to see his rear end in pictures of places that he had visited. So, the story wasn’t about Pee, it was about Bee, for bum.

When I read that story, the real deal, I wanted to apologize, wanted to fess up for reporting about P instead of B. I also wanted to let off, vent about some things that had set on my chest, about the sorry story that had become sordid. I will say that it is one of my gifts to restrain myself, and without much difficulty I steered my attention elsewhere.

Ah, Ms. Marion covered the subject again last week, this time to report that NICH had accepted an apology from the gentleman, and that he would be meeting with a Mayan elder on his next trip, to beg paadn. At this point I realized that I shouldn’t hide my shame about my faulty reporting any longer, and, about this fellow whom I had supported when I thought he had yielded to a biological need, I realized that I should no longer restrain myself, that I should give him a piece of my mind for his disgraceful display.

There I was, thinking that the man had an urgent need to pass water, had to go before he wet his pants, while this was nothing but a deliberate naked in-your-face bottom exposure. Really, all the while this was a gay thing, and innocent me, always the last to know the true story, got fooled like a dummy.

No, I’m not feeling especially stupid for completely missing the boat about what this philistine invader to our shores was about. It was all over that he was following a biological need in an inappropriate place. If I were a real journalist, you bet I’d be in sackcloth for my blunder.  A real journalist would have studied the disgusting pic, instead of just glancing at it when they were reading about the offensive deed. I apologize for writing about the front side when the real blank was happening behind him, a deliberate exposure of a male’s naked hindquarters.

Color me the type of man who will stereotype, but I have observed that gay men are not satisfied with getting carte blanche to the closet: they want to press their agenda in every discussion and arena. So, this one exposes himself on the lawn in front of a sacred monument. That is going too far, especially in Belize. Sagging of the pants is alien to our country. One of the big beefs Belizeans have with gay parades is these boys who expose their rump in the streets.

Before I go on, it may be that I owe an apology to the person who outed the picture on Facebook, and the persons who reportedly did not hold back from nailing the wayward tourist’s a blank blank for what he had done. If so, I apologize.

Now, I’d like to talk about the kinds of friends this man has, the kind of people who think it funny what he did, but I won’t. I want to use the little remaining space I have more profitably, to prepare him for the penance he must do, and the proper apology he must make when he meets the elder.

Oh, he must do penance awright, lots of it. The proper punishment for this crime has to be a few cuts on the behind. I bet around Altun Ha there are a few trees with some sturdy limbs that could be used to give him a good whacking on the stern, so he never does such a thing in public again.

Mr. Exposer says he wants to make a direct apology to a Mayan elder, and I need to counsel him about the quality of person he’ll be meeting.  I suppose there are Mayans who are gay, and it is not impossible that there is a Mayan leader who is gay, but I can tell you that I have never met a drunk or sober Mayan man who would go into a public place and drop his pants. That kind of culture is alien to Belize. That lewdness is straight out of the USA. Our friend had better be on his best behavior.

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Deshawn Swasey

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