by Colin Hyde
It’s not impossible—improbable,
yes, but not impossible, nothing is
under the sun. The greatest chance for
a victory by the local anti-weed gang
(AWG) if the EBC, ehm, shocks with
a report that there are sufficient
legitimate petitions, is if the GOB sticks
with the bill/law as it is. If the AWG
wins, my friends, all hell will break
loose.
Whoa there, rum hounds, winos and
suds suckers, gamblers, and
prostitutes and those who love the
breed, look out, because if they get by
weed, as night follows day they’ll be
coming for the rest of us. I’m sure
you’ve all read the poem, “First They
Came”, by the German pastor, Martin
Neimoller, the first line of which says,
“First they came for the socialists, and
I didn’t speak out—because I was not
a socialist”, and the last line of which
states, “Then they came for me—and
there was no one left to speak for me.”
Ah, some years back Scott Stirm
and his friends said they were looking
for a foothold after they lost hope in
the US, and their eyes settled on us,
we, lee Belize, and here they made their
stand.
Personally, although I have some
beefs with some of their ways, I feel
for that religious crowd, especially
Every sinner and sympathizer must vote to
prevent surprise victory
those who lived in the US. Do you
know that over there a faysi gay can
look at a baker and say, “you, bake
my wedding cake”, and bah, if the
poor religious one doesn’t do their
bidding, they are taken to court. We
should always count our blessings.
Our bakers think they have troubles
because our GOB ordered them to sell
a 16-ounce loaf at a controlled price.
They should go to the States; there
they’ll get the sense.
If not for their aggressiveness, the
LGBT would be a natural to enlist for
the solidarity stand. Oh boy, they have
legitimate fears. But I’m just too averse
over that cake story. I believe in live
and let live. Go and find your own
baker. I’m sure gays bake nice cakes
too.
My biggest beef with the AWGs is
the lengths they’ll go to, to gain their
ends. In an emergency, the ends can
justify the means. Keeping it simple, if
you’re trying to give courage to
someone who is in danger of
drowning, no one can complain
against you if you tell them the shore
is only a mile away when it is more
like five. But if in a drawn-out debate
you will use warped data, debunked
data, cherry- picked information, you
are flying in the face of sacred truth,
and your wings should be clipped.
A one like me, I have to harden my
heart. Though I feel for my evangelical
friends, I can’t go soft on their
dangerous contradiction. They act like
this is their playground, when they’ve
said it themselves, called earth the
Devil’s workshop, said what is for
heaven is for heaven and what is for
earth is for earth. It is not in the plan
for them to win here. It’s in the first
pages of the Bible. Adam yielded to
temptation and ate the aapl!
This is serious business, and I’m
not about taking no for an answer from
sinners and should-be sympathizers.
I’m warning them, step up! I swear
on my bottle that if through apathy and
ignorance the others allow the AWGs
to snuff out weed, I’ll lift a finger only
to defend my vice when the trouble
comes. Oh please, let us not go that
way. Let us link arms, let us swear an
oath, all for one and one for all—to
fell that anti-weed gang.
You got testy, PM
It’s no easy task, taking over a
country with a sluggish economy in
the teeth of a global pandemic. The
PUP had all their plans to “recover”
the economy, make all of us win, and
then the world ground to a halt. The
PUP picked up an economy which the
former prime minister said needed a
lot of prayers to turn around. It must
have crossed PUP minds to withdraw
and let the UDP deal with the mess,
but those desperate blue bohgaz had
been out of office too long, 13 years,
and they couldn’t countenance
remaining on the wrong side of the
aisle. That would have driven them into
the deepest depression, so it was a
near unanimous vote when they chose
to be lords of empty coffers over
suffering under obnoxious dishonest
reds.
Every day is stress for the PUP. At
every turn there are Belizeans shouting,
‘when are we going to win?’ And there
are the gamblers who invested in the
party and are now tugging at their
coats for full returns on their
contributions. Hey, all that to say to
the PUP gang that they wouldn’t be
human if they weren’t frazzled to no
end. But you can’t afford to get testy
with us, PM.
We gave you our biggest job. If the
salary we give you isn’t sufficient, you
knew the pay scale before you applied
for the post. Your family is Belizean
royalty now. It goes with the territory
that they will be under the microscope.
Remember Billy, Jimmy Carter’s
maverick brother, and the Bush
brother Neil? Your family members
might be saints, and exemplary; still
you must expect questions, all kinds.
When answering, don’t get testy.
Thanks to Steve, now
everyone can run
I read the report on the Crooked
Tree Village Council elections, and
man, did former village vice-chairman
Steve Anthony get a walloping. It
would be interesting to look at all the
factors that allowed Steve to become
vice-chairman over a decade ago, and
all the political currents this time
around. I guess the Morning Stew
superstar must have explained some
to his audience, and I missed it.
Put those explanations aside, what
I want to say today is that our country
owes Steve a big thank you, for losing
so badly. His brother, Patrick, all of
the third party crowds, and the
publisher of this newspaper know the
definition of electoral debacle, but
none of them had/have the national
popularity of Steve. I say, if a man as
popular as Steve could get such a
thorough trouncing, nobody shuda
feel shame by voter rejection.
Henceforward, getting drubbed that
way will be a badge of honor.
You need to start with the
neck, Mr. Cromwell
I saw on Breaking News a Ruben
Morales Iglesias story, that the trainer
for lightweight boxer, Rolando
Romero, who went up against Tank
Davis for the championship a couple
weeks ago, is a Belizean. Of course I
checked, and indeed, Mr. Cromwell
Gordon’s place of birth is the Jewel.
Rolando is a good fighter; it was
close on the scorecard until he ran
into a Tank left hook and crumpled
to the canvas.
Mr. Gordon and his charge are
back in the gym, and we have to
support Belizeans everywhere, so I’m
sending this advice, hoping it reaches
him. Braa, you have to get your
pugilist a better neck. The great
question for all boxing trainers is the
stiffness of the jaw of their charge. A
boxer can be the master of the sweet
science, have everything the crowd
will pay for, but if they can’t take a
lick, their career will reach an abrupt
end.
Davis said he didn’t even hit
Romero with his best shot, and he
went down and couldn’t stand when
he got up. Rolando was still on
wobbly legs a couple minutes later as
his dad supported him to his locker.
You can’t really build up the jaw
muscles, unless, as Father William
said, you get into law. You can build
up the neck muscles. Evander
Holyfield survived Mike Tyson and
became heavyweight champ because
of his thick neck.
Our