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Hoal mi, mek a noh bos loose

FeaturesHoal mi, mek a noh bos loose

Maybe it’s because I don’t have enough to do, or maybe it’s jos that I noh uppity-down-my-nose big like some people in Belize, but I read my newspapers every week, been doing so since I da bwai. The other media are great, but the big advantage I find with newspapers is that you can pull them out anytime — morning, noon, or night – and get your dose of the news and the perspectives. Yep, I read newspapers, and that’s mostly how I keep abreast of what’s going on.

Talking about what’s going on, I have to report on the wickedness of Major Jones of the Reporter last week, my, suggesting that Barrow could be a dictator if he wanted to. Ai, I swear this is the second time that Major has gone down this lane, and I believe the last time, I bit my tongue. What’s his purpose, what’s his purpose, I wonder?

If you choose to be gullible, you will go only by what Major Jones says, that it’s just about the facts, the facts of how Barrow has eroded our democracy, made our country terribly weak.

Hn, there are some very nice fellows in this world who believe that people do things for no reason ataal. I tell them that even with a dog, or a baby, every action has a purpose. If the dog changes position it could be as simple as ih di kech cramp or ants di bite ahn, or it could be something as serious as an effort to get closer to their bone, or it could be vicious, like lying low so that some unwitting person or faysi puss gets careless and passes by, and whammo, dog teeth into trespassing flesh. I don’t think I have to tell you all the things a baby could be after when yu hear them baal.

Major, for his purpose (I really think it’s a red herring), said Barrow institutionalized corruption, made every area rep in his party into a minister, brought in reinforcements from the churches so he could control the Senate, and now he has attained cult status, definitely in the eyes of the UDP. Major said he doesn’t know if Barrow really wants to be dictator, but the job he has done to undermine our democracy has paved the road for him if he desires to wear such a crown.

Before I tell Major about two other contenders, yes, and why he is the one I watch, let me put him right about Barrow and any dictatorship dreams that gentleman might have.

Really, there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that Barrow could become a dictator, the kind who doesn’t call elections, if that was his game. Anyone with sincere, sympathetic eyes can see that in 2020 the man is out of gas, and he is being propped up by the non-aligned Belizeans. Bah, the UDP doesn’t want Barrow. The UDP used him, made him enable all the corrupt things Major wrote about, things which made them filthy rich, but now the game is over, now that he has run the country broke. Now that the fat has dried up, they want him to find the exit, fast.

Major would have been on the ball if he had said that Barrow is meddling in the selection of his successor.

We all saw what happened at the last leadership convention. Faber, if we heard right, whispered what he would do to Barrow when he gets the crown. Saldivar, with two of his primary donors being featured in sensational cases in the courts, lay low, but everyone knows that he is more eager than his rival to excise the memory of the former king. You see the papers the ambitious John is circulating about how he would rescue the economy that his boss ran into the ground?

We know whom the wily Barrow chose, after playing Pontius Pilate, but all the while he knew that the one he chose could not be king because the Americans did not approve of the baggage. We have heard of being between a rock and a hard place, but he didn’t navigate. Instead, he mastered every last ounce of meanness he could find in his body, and in the game of his life, he crushed the rock and faked out the hard place. The cost was enormous. And now it is out in the open, about all who are after his skin.

The UDPz have no more use for the man, the PUPz are closing in – does anyone know whose side the British shark is swimming with? Forgive the distraction — the non-aligned see that if you tap him he will just topple over, and, as always, being the only ones who think country first, first, first, they are crutching him up.

I should be finished with the dictator possibilities of this PM that Major is watching, I should be getting on to whom we really have to watch, but let me end this so there can be no distraction. Suppose, suppose Barrow did have the traction, what would be the point?

People are always looking for new worlds to conquer, things they haven’t done before, and in regards to the dictator thing, Barrow, like his predecessor, Esquivel, has already been there and done that, and they both ruined a country. The PUP had to borrow a heck load of money, even from commercial banks, to rescue Belize after Manuel Esquivel finished with us.

The Lord alone knows exactly how much, but we know there will have to be a monton load of borrowing the next government will have to do to get us out of this madabig mess Barrow’s UDP put us in. I think PM would have to be fuera de su mente to want to be a dictator-without-election after all he has done, and all he has failed to do.

Now, getting serious, looking at the possibilities and the potential of ambitious men in our country who might want what Major said Barrow could have if he wanted, I did mention John, and that the Americans wouldn’t want him because of baggage he’s picked up along the way, all to help his team win all those championships, hihn seh.

Ah, another contender could be Pere, the AG —he’s got the ambition for sure, alright, and he, unfortunately, is as unelectable as the X brothers. He could be a danger —we all see how much he loves wielding the big stick, but one of the things holding him back is that he is too fresh. You can’t be dictator-without-election in this part of the world if the big, bad US doesn’t want you. Clearly, there is no compliance in Mr. Pere.

Two years ago, when the US – how could those cruel beasts take away our visas? – yes, after the US badmind wi and took away the visas, the cagey Sedi Elrington – has he withdrawn from the UDP leadership race yet? – yes, the cagey Sedi said the Americans had been warning us for some time, and whether they were right or wrong that we weren’t doing enough, it was all about putting a little pressure to get us to up our game.

And what did big bad AG Pere say about the wikid Americans? He must think he is Won Hong Kim, no, I mean Kim Jong-un. He said the Americans were cowardly and hypocritical. Someone will have to ask him if he still has his visa.

Ah, you see, Mr. Major, I’m sure you do, that leaves only you. You were military, the big man in our army. You are well-spoken, articulate. You have political ambition, but me noh noa why, yu unelectable. The PUP giveth to Major Jones, suspending man of the people (that’s what he calls himself) Arthur Saldivar to make an opening for him in Belize Rural North, where he lost to Edmond Castro. The PUP taketh from Major Jones, chiseling him out of Belize Rural North for a man he considers of suspect character.

I can only speak for myself, but if da mi me, if I had that kind of ambition and pedigree and military contacts, and I saw men I consider to be no more than clods kicking up dust in Belize Rural North and in Belize, and I was unelectable, somebody, hold mi, hoal mi mek a noh bos loose.

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