When I heard the GoB was going to the House for a meeting on Wednesday this week, my first thought went to the good old days of Krismos cheer. I know the self-proclaimed “caring” UDP were plenty much their old bad-minded selves on the sharing, in the way they distributed the funds. They gave to the children of families that voted Red more than they gave to the children of families that voted Blue, but half an aapl is better than no aapl at all.

Sometimes you wish you were a mind doctor and they gave you Red heads to open and work on. Ai, in a world where there are men who like men, and women who want to take men down a peg, I guess every kind of mind is possible.

Krismos comes but once a year, and it is a special period. Nobody is all bad, and the Europeans are Exhibit A of this. They have to be congratulated for the season. In Belize we fused it with a thing we call Geng Brok and made the ultimate celebration, pop weh.

Krismos, it’s that time of year when the world falls in love … Yap, we took it and wedded it with our own traditions. Krismos in Belize is forever the coming home of long-gone dads and grampas and breda and ongkl. Batl pahn taybl, draa di kaak … Drink a rum on a Krismos maanin … Everybody in a car please get a slow-driving sober person behind the wheel.

The government had better not be broke. They’ve been signing multi-million dollar contracts like Henry money kyaahn done, so they better come up. This year they should share the money based on needs and on size. Hon. Rado’s division is large, so he should get more. The division Sista B set ih eye pan very small, so she should satisfy with not as much.

What a pity we don’t still have that $100 million that the Fin Sec said slipped through. Isn’t it possible that that money wasn’t spent at all? It could be in some compartment in the vault that they forgot. It could have been taken home by one of them, for safekeeping, so they didn’t spend it like they were spending every penny of oil money they could get their hands on. Voila, it could be gathering dust under some honest UDP’s bed, just waiting for Krismos. Gud maanin Miss Lady … the little ones will be watching for Rudolph …

Wa, World Anti-Corruption Day and we know we da poster boy

You know this International Anti-Corruption Day, on Monday December 9, sponsored by the United Nations, is really a story about us, our story, PUDP vice that no machete is sharp enough to excise. The present Leader really thought he was an honest fellow, but things might have become less clear for him when his party got to hold the keys to the national vault. If you want to really know about the Geng Brok spree, there is no better example. The money spend so fast the Fin Sec never notice when $100 million gaan. Thank God that one is just a slippage, not a disappearance like the complete wipeout of the stash fu Capn’ Foot.

Nobody told us when the UN operatives came to gather the evidence. It must have been clandestine, like DEA. I bet the PUPeez were the first they interrogated. They are the ones who made the blueprint for corruption in Belize. Oh, woe the day the book landed in UDP hands! Who would have thought we would live to see the day when the PUP luk like saints? My, dehn da small chaynj to dis ya crowd.

Well, Mr. Bill Lindo

Ah, Mr. Bill Lindo, I see where you are being raked in the media for the job you are doing at the old Swing Bridge. I won’t quarrel with them about the charge of PUP-ism, but on the charge of lack of competence they will have to wheel and come again.

You certainly have the practical skills to show the engineers at the BCC who have to sign off on your work. I am sure they will have their thumbs up. Ouch, Mr. Jules had a field day catching you in your area of incompetence. It was a mismatch. People like you, and me too, shouldn’t get into exchanges with the wordsmiths. The best scene for you would have been to pick him up and dump the bohga in the river. Then when you go to court you could tell the judge what one of my mentors (and former boss), Natividad Obando, told me about these unfair fights.

My mentor advised me that one should never get “word cute” with a person who stammers. He said a person who stammers can’t bring out what is in their mind quickly enough, so very shortly you will get popped in the jaw. If that dude Jules comes to bother you again, my advice is to send him to Oscar, or Mr. Noralez, but don’t send him to Brother A. Vaughan. That Mr. Vaughan definitely has the linguistics, but he looks like he packs a wallop too, just in case.

Bah, I can’t allow the chatter on the bridge to distract me from what you wrote in your latest piece in the Amandala. It’s deep, and the experts should weigh in to increase our enlightenment. I have to read the piece a couple more times before I can offer my complete ideas, but I just couldn’t let lie a particular chaans you took on Fidel and Cuba. I suspect your real target is in Eastern Europe, but some tar landed on the island and we have to spray kerosene and wash that out.

Your hero, Henry C. Carey, saying that communism cannot work because it wishes to bring everyone to the level of the bottom, is grossly unfair. Cuba’s socialism (communism) achieved a heck of a lot: it was no economic trip to the bottom. If you want to talk about bottom, that was all because of the embargo.

Anyway, we in Belize are a capitalist nation, so the real story is your very important, essential discussion of the two capitalist systems. I look forward to hearing from the brilliant thinkers, folk like Mr. Brian Plummer, before I chip in.

Tros mi, nobody wants to make 150

In the Old Testament of the Holy Bible we read of some ancients living as long as some trees, but common sense tells you that’s misinterpreted language. If human beings were designed to live 200 and 300 years, and 700 years, they wouldn’t attain puberty so soon.
You won’t find any animal living for hundreds of years. Other primates can reach forty, elephants can reach 60 and 70, and turtles can make 80 and even exceed 100.

The biggest reason why we shouldn’t be too eager to carry on till we are 155 has to do with the sins. There are people who are nearly without sin and some criminal bohgaz who don’t give a blank about their many failures, but they are few. We regular folk can’t deal with our sins for so long.

Older people are troubled a lot by insomnia. You don’t have to wonder why. It’s the sins of a lifetime, the things they did that they shouldn’t have done, and the things they failed to do, that they should have done. Our merciful God gave us certain potions, fermented stuff, and certain things to smoke, to cope.

Naa, nobody in the Bible lived into their multiple hundreds. There is no point to that. Abraham must have been 70, and Sarah 60, when they had Isaac. When you talk 150 years you are talking about rock stone.