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UDP looks like a shipwreck; Faber’s hard decision

FeaturesUDP looks like a shipwreck; Faber’s hard decision

The 1984-89 UDP – I won’t say much bad about that UDP, because Brother Henry Young gives me beer to drink when I go by his place, and he sits me around a table with luminaries named Rhaburn, a luminary of luminaries in the arts, and Fairweather+, a luminary of luminaries in the fight to save our country, and other bright lights with names like Smiling, and Miller, and Stuart, and of course the great Henry Young himself.

It was there, while sitting around that table, that I saw OJ Elrington…wait, OJ, he’s no luminary. Brother, you have a heck of a nerve and a lot to do to restore your image after you used the punk litigation law that was made to protect the Crown, to go after the most serious PUP, Vaughan. If you think I mean Vaughn Gill, you should check yourself.

Let’s be serious. OJ is too unelectable to get a seat at Mr. Henry’s table, unless he’s buying the drinks. He, OJ, he was parading with a pretty girl in the restaurant proper, and a wandering eye saw the girl first, then OJ, and then I got to thinking of the luck enjoyed by lawyers in Belize, and then I got to thinking we’ll have to do something about them, the male ones, because none of them can tie the shoelaces of Fidel, Nelson, or the Mahatma.

Pardon the distraction; it was there, while seated at the table for the selects – okay, let me explain. My dad can’t move around anymore, and Mr. Henry uses me as a courier. You know, those two used the stature they gained from high office in Belize — my dad as a former Speaker and Mr. Henry as a mighty Minister — to exalt the scourge weed to a state of semi-legal status. Of things that come up short of true glory, my dad always says, knocks nothing to hell.

Oh how Brother Chiste disappointed when he put weed behind him to become a favorite in Manuel’s Cabinet! Well, those two old bohga collaborators, Henry and my dad, probably never smoked a spliff in their lives, which just goes to show that the world is full of, and will never run out of, surprises.

Ah, let me not forget that other luminary who came by. It was there, while sitting at Sir Henry’s Round Table, that I got to see, in person, the first and only time, the architect of the UDP that let us down so badly. Before going on, let me put out there that Mr. Vasquez cannot be blamed for the – insert appropriate local expletive – that Manuel and Dean did.

This UDP is a wreck. But, Mr. Young, he had a good run, and he was not alone, because the great hero of heroes, PSWG, was also in that first UDP Cabinet that was formed. I’ll skip the other good heroes (there were a few) to tell you that the UDP saved the economy by selling passports, selling shares in BTL, and winning the great favor of USAID. Hurrah, they also sniffed that a British lord would be renewing ties with the country after he saw the possibilities, and they headed him off with a special share.

Hmm, I’m about to say something bad about Dean Lindo, so let me state in a rush that sans proper investigation and discussion I cannot say yay or nay to his Ministry privatizing banana.

Bah, look at their mess. Reports are that Dean Lindo was involved in some major hanky panky; a hero reportedly got kicked out of the party he helped build because a paltry few gallons of paint disappeared; they refused Amandala a radio license, threatened to jail them if they dared to challenge the grip Radio Belize had on the airwaves; they were unable to peacefully prevent Rufus X from declaring his candidacy in Belize Rural North; they burned all the weed fields, paying no mind to the killing of tomatoes and bees; their leader…

…I was walking on the highway that passes through my village – and I’m disrupted again because I’m thinking pathway in my village, and there was none then, and along came John and did a part, and now along comes Julius and he is doing some wonderful things out here. There has to be a full story for that, but until then I want to tell Julius to make sure he doesn’t grow up to be like John. He, John, fell from a position of grace.

Yep, I’m walking on the side of the highway, and along comes this large white car racing at highball speed, and I admire the Queen, but if it was she I would have cussed the Crown, because if you’re not an ambulance or a fire engine, don’t drive crazy around me. Hn, I might amount to nothing in this life, but you don’t know God’s plans. Give Price the props for always treating villagers with total respect. Manuel should have told his driver to slow down, give space to the peons walking on the road, because they are creations of God, and our Constitution says they have a right to life.

UDP 1993-1998 did not have any creativity. The UDP won in 2008 because the PUP imploded in an ideological war, and the UDP won again in 2012 and 2015 because the PUP remained divided.

Much of the dirty, smelly dealings of those UDP regimes was about to come to light at the “inquest”, but Cutty made a speech, and the Reporter allowed Rudon, the third of the PUP’s Goebbels trio – Hall, Reid, and Rudon – to fall back in with the bad crowd. All the rumors say that it was Mike who pulled the plug.

The UDP leaders stumbled badly, and it is just incredible that an entire party has ZERO talents within their ranks who have the credentials to take over. My, this UDP crowd, they are the closest thing to Humpty Dumpty falling off a wall.

Of the gang in the House not named Faber, Tracy looked straight into our faces and told us the Brad’s contract was on the up and up. For all that, I was surprised that she ran so poorly in the party elections. We were shown how much Hugo adored a Tacoma. Shyne turned to the church, which was a good thing. Sista B in politics shows that Barrow learned nothing from Esquivel. There’s the Vasquez script. Some are born to be king. Some are born to be kingmakers.

Of the gang out of the House, Saldivar can’t admit that at best he has terrible judgment; Bradley can’t understand that he did Wagner and the PUP City Council a terrible wrong; and then there’s Pere, who gets his high from—kicking ass.

My gudnis, the UDP pantry is so bare, and over there, the PUP, they are so loaded that they have talent that can’t find a division to run in. I’m for Belize, first, second, and third, so I am making suggestions to this weakling UDP to help them put some red in that flag that’s gone pale, luk like pastel pink to me. The UDP should welcome some blue to their party. They can also draw some talent from the third parties. And they can draw from the lawyer pool. My advice to the UDP is, if they want to go for unaffiliated lawyers, please, no males.

All these things take time, and right now all they got, bah, is Faber. It looks bleak for that door stomper, but if the UDP could win three consecutive terms, anything is possible. What I recommend for him is daunting, but he can take consolation in the fact that there is precedent. Hey, Patrick, George did it, and you can, must too. I say, Braa, you got to swear off dem women.

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