Saturday, June 3, 2023
“I dwell in a house of 1000 dreams.” Bruce Springsteen wrote those beautiful words, and the above title is from Shakespeare’s Hamlet’s Soliloquy. To be able to express one’s feelings, those hidden feelings, sometimes dark, sometimes funny, sometimes light and meaningful, is a gift. We all live with secrets, buried deep inside our subconscious sometimes, sometimes bubbling on the surface, screaming to be released from that prison of shame and regret and fear in which we keep them locked. We are prisoners of our own making, chained to those realities we are too cowardly to let go of, to share with those we care about, for fear of rejection and/or retribution.
It wasn’t always this way. When we were younger, we were much more honest in exposing ourselves to the facts of life, I believe. We would share our dreams, our expectations, with family and friends and loved ones, without fear or care, of being judged. I think it was because of that feeling of invincibility and immortality of being young, that made us less jaded, less conscious or concerned about other people’s opinions of us! We were aware that we had time to correct mistakes made and be redeemed and made whole again.
Nowadays, those of us in the autumn of our lives are more guarded with our dreams, our expectations. We hold them close to our hearts and minds, afraid that our weaknesses might make us less secure, less loved or respected by those who matter to us. We are embarrassed to share those dreams—and there are usually so many—for fear of ridicule, or derision, or contempt, or even worse, pity!
For those of us who hear “time’s winged chariot hurrying by,” we should share those dreams, especially the unfulfilled ones. I think that it is very important, if for nothing else, for peace of mind. For me, the minute I fall asleep I start dreaming, nonstop until I wake up. Most of them I don’t remember, but some of them make me want to never wake up, to just keep on dreaming. And my unfulfilled dreams of life and love and loss and regret keep me up late into the nights, and constantly remind me of my mortality!
“To dream and dream like yonder amber light, which will not leave the myrrh bush on the height.” — Tennyson
Glen