by Colin Hyde

Hmm, it isn’t proper protocol to intrude, interfere in the political affairs of a foreign country, especially one that is a friend, and this corner’s ears were up when he heard that Dr. Tsai, on her recent visit here as a most welcomed guest to beloved Belize, used the occasion to, ahem, declare for a woman prime minister in our future. I thought of telling her: “Miss, it is the right of the Belizean people to choose who they want in the saddle. Your words could have put a dent in the schemes of 50% of Belize’s population.”

I’ve looked at the transcripts and found no such official declaration. So, if she did say so, it might have been an aside, just girl talk. There was a giant woman’s powwow, a women’s only convention hosted by the powerful Amalia and the embraced, rejected, and embraced again Dolores. They might have had champagne, or sipped from the stock of one of our popular wine makers. And one thing led to another, and people forgot that the microphones were on.

But no need to worry if such a hope was indeed expressed. The reason I said “could have” is because we guys in Belize know the time. Hooray for Taiwan if they want to see a woman lead here. But we don’t want a woman at the head, and we know why. It’s because Lord Laro taught us in song all that their side is about. Ha, we have this thing sealed tight, and I’m surprised no one informed you about it, Madam President, that women in Belize, the ones we allow to win seats, don’t have their eyes on that PM job.

You met Ms. Dolores, Madam President; well, we can start with her aunty, Miss Jane. Miss Jane’s brother, the famous George Price, asked her to run in Pickstock. She did, and won. Then her brother, after getting dusted off in 1984, asked her to give him the seat in 1989, and she did. This brings us to Sista B, whom you “should have” met at the House. Her brother, Dean Barrow, asked her to run in Queen’s Square, and she did, and won. I am certain your ambassador here has the full, disappointing details about all that followed that victory. Dear Dr. Tsai, “winnable” women in Belize only want to serve their brothers, or their man.

Now, pointing the finger at “unwinnable” women, two of whom flanked you when you were in the House. I’m talking about Speaker Valerie and President Caroline. I wonder what all that pair told you. I’m sure while they had your ear they prompted you to plug for them, and I bet if you said what they said you said, those two think it a coup. Humph, your ambassador should have apprised you that they are two rejected politicians, so they might be harboring bitterness.

Oh, oh, we’ve rejected many women at the polls; the list is long – Audrey, Nefretery, Lisa, Wendy – and Ma’am, we’ll certainly have no problem rejecting more. What, did I hear someone say Audrey and Wendy haven’t run in any election? I bet that’s because they know what will happen to them! Hmm, maybe at times we’ve been too narrow in our objections. Ah, Dolores Balderamos Garcia, she won in Port Loyola, and then she lost when the people found out that she was scornful, didn’t like shaking hands. Please, how were we to know there was virtue there, and when we found out, when we got the lessons of Covid-19, we gave her another division, Belize Rural Central.

Whew, it’s good that it all ends well. Madam President, if you did speak so, I bet you did so innocently. My, from your powerful space such words could cause an upheaval in a country. But not in little Belize! Miss, a snow ball will roll through hell without melting a drop before such a wish becomes a reality.

Bad UDP. Good UDP?

The UDP mouths at Wave television have criticized the starter homes, viciously. They should be ashamed about all they’ve said about the size of the houses. Criticizing the starter houses was bad, terrible.

Congratulations to the UDP for dropping that nonsense. Now, the UDP is saying that some people who got homes, some of them are renting. There is no law against renting your home. People build homes with all the plans to live there happily ever after, and then a turn comes, and it could be many things, and the dream house is up for rent. But great need of a shelter is the stated criteria for people who get starter homes. It isn’t expected that they’d be renting, not so soon.

If there is truth in this UDP charge, they are doing their job, they are on the ball, and the GOB has to up their game. If top PUP leadership is honest, they know they have a hefty share of kleptomaniacs. From the inception there was talk that a few people were scamming the program.

But will they lash the boy minor

So, our Police Commissioner excuses a girl who fabricated a story that an officer slapped her. Fair enough, it’s our culture to give the fair gender a pass. You didn’t know that? A Wikipedia story said that ”in June 2017, the total [prison] population was 1,297, including pre-trial detainees (30.1%).” The story goes on to say that our “incarceration rate is relatively high at 356/100,000” and that “the incarceration rate for females has risen from 8.4 (per 100,000 of national population) in 2000 to 12.6 in 2017.” If you look at the 2017 numbers, that puts us around 30 to 1, male to female. Really, women are such saints? I thought they were human beings, just like us. What’s that you said—they only cause man to get into trouble?

Okay, this is about the boy, her brother, who told the same wicked lie. Oh no, no, no, nothing against the fellow, nothing at all, but it will crumble an entire culture, a good one at that, if a message isn’t sent from his buttocks to his head, that you can’t get away with lies. If, for fear of the Europeans you don’t want to pull out the tambran whip or sash kaad, then make him do a thousand pushups. Even better, send him to clean up plastic bags in the streets for a week.