When Guatemala and Belize make the official announcement that they are ready to go to the ICJ, for that court to hear whatever legal arguments Guatemala says it has in its claim for some or all of Belize’s territory, there’ll be broad smiles on the judges’ faces at The Hague for the recognition for the important job they do and, of course, the little chum that will be coming their way. People have to eat, and educated people like rib eye and roe.

First laaf da noh laaf. They, the judges, don’t know that they are in for the worst time of their lives. The smiles won’t be long on their faces when they find out that Guatemala will be rolling out every antiquated document, argument, propaganda they can find, from as far back as 1492. They can’t go back further than that because in 1491 Guatemala belonged to the Maya. We know how they treated the Maya then, and now.

I read that Guatemala will present 127 linear meters of information at The Hague. Human beings should be grateful for small mercies. It could have been 127 miles long, but a lot of Spaniard stuff accidentally got burned up when they were about burning data that belonged to the Maya. Whoa, 127 linear meters is nothing to sneeze at. It will be some daam colorful expletives muttered under breaths, and in chambers, when the judges see them come in with their boxes and boxes of ancient scrolls.

The primary strategy of so much information is clearly to impress. They clearly expect the judges to go, wow, these people must be truly aggrieved, put out by little Belize’s having their land. We expect all the pain of Jose Luis Mendoza and Belize’s favorite Guatemalan to quote, Gustavo Adolfo Orellana Portillo, will be bared in the halls of the palace at The Hague. The White Book will be carried in like it is the Holy Grail.

Allow me to segweh a moment to draw your attention to Mr. Gustavo. I learned this from Jose Luis, who took major umbrage at a man named O’Neil leading the Spanish armada against us in 1798. Adolfo for a second name, Mr. Gustavo? We remember that you guys supported Hitler and the Nazis. Most times 2 plus 2 equals 4.

Following on the heels of Guatemala’s sacred book which was put together to hambohg little Belize, the home of Brokdong and the Punta, there might even be other evidence. Recall that some Belizeans were worried that they might have something up their sleeves. I wouldn’t be surprised if the 127 linear meters isn’t accompanied by vials filled with tears, sincerely and insincerely wept.

This case against Belize will turn out to be just about the worst news the judges at the court can get. 127 linear meters of verbosity will be too much, so tedious it will bore the judges to nohmohnohmoh, some maybe even to their retirement.

Aha, the lawyers’ happiness will last. It will be bad for the judges, but the lawyers will feed like hungry sharks on chum. We understand that one of ours will be in for a bonanza. Comrade has reportedly secured a package that will make him not have to worry a second longer about the old age thing. He is taken care of, and he shouldn’t worry that he will be grudged. He will be living in style, in opulence at The Hague, but we will be resting easy because we know we will be in good hands.

The Guatemalans will go to bat first, and if the judges survive a year of sifting through the meters and meters sent in from next door, it will be our turn. You know, our Comrade at the court will have some easy job. The “linear meters” he will hand over to our trial lawyers won’t be more than a page long, with five dates and two words highlighted. Those dates are 1798 (the Battle), 1859 (the Treaty), 1931 (the Exchange of Notes), 1980 (UNGA Resolution 35/20), and 1981 (Independence at last). The two words will be Occupation and Self-Determination.

 When the Defense rests, the judges will say, thank you, thank you for getting so quickly to the point. If every country was like Guatemala, punished our time the way they have, the court could never get its job done.

Seriously, our Anglophobes

I don’t want to cut into Dr. Shoman’s cheddar because that brother has done some sterling work in the past. We need every ounce of oomph to go into our first line of defense and he’s got some talent. The problem is that we aren’t going to court to make the British look bad. Please to leave your baggage at the door.

Seriously, the big deficiency for Dr. Shoman at the ICJ is that he tends to not like the British. Yes, he tends to Anglophobia. The Anglophobes are an entertaining bunch. It swells these guys’ importance to throw stones at the British. We know the British have a lot of sins. You don’t become the empire on which the sun never set without piling up some sins. But everyone has saving grace.

I’ve noticed some common threads with Anglophobic men – they are all intellectual types. Let me run some names by you – Bill Lindo, George Price, J. C. Arzu, Patrick Rogers, Dickie Bradley, Assad Shoman. I could say more about Anglophobic types, worse, but I have to save ammo for another day.

Generally, Anglophobic types want to downplay 1859. It is very disappointing how they muddle the facts about Article Seven and the cart road, not a superhighway. It is true that the British could have bent over further to accommodate the Guatemalans. And that would have been good for us too.  But they, the British, have no guilt over Article Seven.

The simple truth is that Guatemala overplayed its hand on Article Seven, and the 1863 agreement. You can say Guatemala had a hold on the British, even though Article Seven was very confusing. They had the British bending all over the place to satisfy them. But they pressed too hard and ended up overplaying their hand.

Fred Hunter Sr., in his piece, “An analysis of the 1859 Boundary Treaty, U.K./Guatemala”, in the Amandala of May 7, 2016, explained the impasse.

“As soon as the Boundary Treaty of 1859 was signed there were disagreements as to what was agreed concerning the ‘joint venture.’ Wyke from Britain stated that what he understood was that Britain would provide all the technical input, Guatemala would supply all the material necessary, and Britain and Guatemala would share the cost of labor equally. And Aycinena from Guatemala thought that Britain would supply all the technical inputs, Guatemala would supply all the material needed, and Britain would pay all the labor costs.”

There’s a lot of evidence that the British tried to honor Article 7. R. A. Humphreys has it well documented.

If you love the game, do right

Football fans in my neighborhood were Bandits’ supporters, but they all switched their allegiances to Verdes FC when Denmark Casey, Jr. moved there, so I expect there weren’t many teardrops shed Saturday night when Bandits fell in San Pedro in the championship game. I say “expect” because I haven’t checked with everyone.

I think I told you I haven’t been a Bandits fan in a long, long while because I noh deh wid no Minister as di face a no football team. That’s using God’s game for political gain. I understand their sponsoring local sports tournaments; it’s not the ideal but under our present circumstances, little funds, we have to tek what we can get. But noh fu oan no big league team.

It’s obvious that the BMP area rep truly loves sports, but that kind of love he is expressing is cage love, suppression of the thing you love. The beauty of sports is that at its finest it is pure. Insert the politicians and purity gone. I didn’t go to the big schools some of these big politicians went to, but I study and learn. I have never seen an American Senator or Representative posing with “their” team. I have never seen a British MP posing with “their” team.

Another thing that affects the purity of sports is bad fan behavior. I am kinda hooliganish when I’m drinking, and was always drinking when I went to games, so I wouldn’t be surprised if somewhere in my past I cursed. I don’t think so. I don’t think I’ve ever gone to a public place and let fly any curse words. If I have, I apologize. Cursing and coarseness must not be tolerated at sports events. I don’t tend to real coarseness so I don’t fear my past there.
There are people who can make the sports experience real ugly. I said that if I was ever ugly, I apologize. The thing about life is that we should always strive to get better. If we can’t do it alone, there should be help about.  There should be word police officers at all sporting events, to get dehn blanking blank blank out of the stadiums! It is daam criminal some of the words children at the games are exposed to.

I have noticed that the whole world is getting after people who want to be nasty at sports events. What an intolerable embarrassment it would be for us if fans of one of our championship sports clubs went abroad with the team and disgraced us.