May 10, 2011
Dear Editor,
On the morning of Thursday, May 13, 2010, I woke up as usual at 6 p.m. and turned on the radio. My wife usually gets up at that time as well, and we’d start getting ready to go to work while listening to the news, and then the morning talk shows.
That morning however, I turned on the radio and heard the morning talk show discussion of yet another murder in Belize City. Moving around in my room, I heard the shocking words, “….the murder of Aubrey Lopez”! I stopped in my tracks and just stood there! My wife also heard it and came outside. I was shocked to my core, unmoving!
Throughout the next few days, I would go thru a plethora of emotions ranging from sheer disbelief, incredulity, overwhelming sadness, and pure empathy for his family! …you see, when my family moved to Nargusta Street, Belmopan in 1988, one of the first persons I became friends with was Aubrey, who lived right down the street.
A year or two later, after we had settled one street away on Sapodilla Street, I had already formed a bond with the guys from the neighborhood. Aubrey lived next door to Withfield (Chuch) Tench and they both lived across the street from Derrick (Bredda) Gordon. On the other street almost behind Aubrey’s home, lives Francis (Sonny) Bermudez and next to him was Kurt (House) Mckoy. Invariably you would find the five of us always together throughout the days and weeks.
Spending my teenage years in the neighborhood, we grew having a strong sense of community. All our neighbors knew each other and interacted with each other on various levels. Weeknights would find us guys on the cement bridge in front of “Chuch” or Aubrey’s house hanging out as young men do, playing dominos, listening to music, or following the various sports in Belize and abroad. Life on Nargusta and Sapodilla Street in the ‘90’s was full! From, picking ripe “peeya” (avocado’s) off the Heusner’s tree, softball in the field beside the Lopez’ house, having Sunday dinner at one of their houses, heading to the cool river on the hot weekend days, our bond was strong, so much so that all our respective parents were considered to be each other’s parents.
Most days were filled with sports, especially basketball. Starting with “yard” ball at the back of Bredda’s house, Aubrey started to develop the talent he became known for.
With tutelage later from the older neighborhood guys like his brother Kurtis “Blo” Lopez, Micheal Tench, Kevin “Killa Jones, and others, Aubrey’s love for the game grew to parallel his ability and talent. The famous competitiveness he was known for grew from the confidence he developed not only in basketball, but also in other sports, and eventually in his teaching profession. (Amongst us guys, his nickname was “Ballz” and most people thought that it was in reference to his competitiveness. However this isn’t so. (smile))
Off the court, he was the kind of guy who had his own unique sense of humor, and while we would all play pranks and tease and joke with each other, Aubrey most often would end up getting the best of you!
But even when he was the butt of the joke, he still took it in stride! One evening, after a Belmopan Comprehensive School Sports Day, Aubrey was proudly displaying his third place ribbon in the 1800-meter race! Now I never would have considered him to be a long distance runner, so I was incredulous AND proud that he won third place! “Wow!” I said, “You won in the 1800!?!?!” …and he replied with that famous mischievous grin, “Yes, I did! THIRD PLACE !” …and before anyone could say anything else, Derrick leaned over and quietly told me, “Ask him how many people were in the race!” …I asked Aubrey, and he answered sheepishly, “Three!!”
We, including Aubrey, all had a good laugh at that one, and this was typical of him. His confidence allowed him to be gracious, as well.
Aubrey was never a saint, none of us ever are, but through it all, the foundation principles that made Aubrey who he really and truly was, were instilled by the strong stable family background he grew up in. It is my feeling that that sense of humor was what greatly helped Derrick, a.k.a. Bredda (and the rest of us) get thru the loss of HIS mother, Maeveline Gordon, in the mid ‘90’s. This was a lady who treated us as if all of us were her kids, but Aubrey and Derrick had a stronger bond than the rest of us, so though her death was a significant blow to us all, it was especially so for both of them.
But as I said, Aubrey’s sense of humor helped to get us thru our pain.
Then on Wednesday, July 13, 2005, when his neighbor across the street, and our very good friend, Elizabeth Heusner, died tragically in a traffic accident, Aubrey felt the pain as much as the rest of us from the neighborhood, but it was because of our closeness that we got through all those extremely sad times.
As we grew older, we all started to drift apart. Young men and women from the neighborhood turning into adulthood, started moving away, getting married, having families, some moving to the US, or taking jobs that separated us from the community.
Though in those later years I didn’t see Aubrey as much as we used to in our early years, we would encounter each other at various times around Belmopan and our historical bond still was strong, as we could still share a few jokes and have a few laughs like we used to in the past.
No matter what, despite the splintering of our group, from time to time when I would hear of Aubrey’s increasing accomplishments on the radio or on the evening news, I always felt immense pride in those accomplishments. He made us all proud!
That Thursday night after we had heard of his encounter the night before that led to his death, a few of us gathered at Mayor Lopez’s house and in the neighborhood. The sense of loss was palpable in all of us. Bewilderment was evident in the faces of all his friends, and no so more than in those who were with him in the early years.
A couple of his close friends were so overwhelmed that they even found it difficult to show up at his house in those first few nights. They were so overcome with hurt! All of us were! No one person has a monopoly on grieving and pain in the death of a loved one, but Aubrey’s violent death had a huge impact on us, especially with the background knowledge of the seemingly uncontrollable crime situation in Belize City!
The undisciplined nature of our society and the breakdown of its values that led to Aubrey’s death made it seem so senseless and totally avoidable to a neighborhood that knew nothing but discipline, values, and principle.
On the day of the funeral, I wept uncontrollably. I wept for Aubrey’s dad and mom, his sister and brother, his wife and son. I wept for a neighborhood that knew him as brother and son! I wept for a society seemingly at a loss for values! I wept for a country at a deficit of leaders! But mostly I wept for my friend and brother, who lay in casket, cut down in the prime of his life, victim of a loveless society!
This Friday makes a year since he passed, and each of us his friends and family, will have to continue dealing with his passing in our own way. To use a time-worn phrase, he will live on in our memories! We shall keep him alive in the same way we have done for those beloved of the neighborhood who have gone ahead – Ms. Mae Gordon and Elizabeth Heusner.
We shall do so by reinforcing the values and discipline we learnt growing up with them and with Aubrey. We shall honor his memory by instilling those same important values in our kids. He will always be with us. THEY will always be with us. We will honor them! We, who loved them, shall not ever forget!
Signed
Daren D. Swasey
Belmopan