It was like the best joke in Belmopan for weeks when the local chapter of the Lions had a big powwow one night and next morning some of the known whiskey guzzlers were sporting bumper stickers on their vehicles that said: Say No to Drugs! In those days in the 70s there were other drugs here, stuff used in the upper classes, but on the ground the only one we were aware of was weed.

I say, if you’re looking for hypocrites to nail for attacking other people’s vices, those whiskey guys were the worst kettles kossing pots, but we know the truth: those well-off highly educated ones couldn’t get over the bias sown in their heads from childhood. Four legs good; two legs bad. Whiskey, rum, and beer gud; weed is terrible.

Wow, I just presented the lead case in the category for adult bias disease rooted in the warped young mind! Really, in those days even the most notorious rum soaks, the kind who were at the bar door waiting for hours for it to open, so they could kita the goama from the night before…yaa, just don’t make the mistake of mix them up with no weed head. Someone said the famous Joyce Brothers said a man is what he eats. Well, in the world of highs, a man is what stimulates him! Don’t you dare look at me; I’m on caffeine.

If we believe the story weaved by the anti-weed crowd, it was the Creator who decreed it criminal to smoke weed. Of course we and they know that is not so. Weed was criminalized in the UK in 1928 … The Week (UK magazine) says that in 1928 cannabis was made illegal in the UK, but doctors could prescribe it for medical use up to 1971, “when the Misuse of Drugs Act came into force, creating the Class A, B and C classification system and making even more drugs controlled substances.”

We being a former colony, we can expect that if we go to the Archives we will find a newspaper of that period with the details. God didn’t criminalize weed; GOVERNMENTS did. And as government made the law, government can change the law. Of course, wi got rights to challenge.

My gudnis, the conscientious antiweed are warning people that they’ll have to guard their little field with guns. When I was a boy fisherman in the 1970s, there were fishermen who guarded their lobster traps with shotguns. When I was a young man working in the Valley, some people guarded their orchards with shotguns. Nobody guards sugarcane – oh wait, they have to guard against vandalism sometimes.

Praedial larceny is the scourge of farmers. There was a time when small farmers in the west used to run a few heads on their 10 and 20-acre parcels, but people in villages near to urban areas don’t keep cattle anymore. The blow is too crushing to lose a cow; that’s why villagers sold out their stock. Some villagers still try with a few sheep, and pigs, and all of them will tell you they don’t rest easy at night. Everybody jumps up and runs for their shotgun when they hear barking. Dogs that bark at ghosts need a good beating.

Only in villages a way out there will you find people who sleep with their windows opened. The windows on the houses in the posh neighborhoods are all burglar-barred, the yards are roamed by vicious guard dogs, and the eaves all around the houses have cameras that are taking pictures all day and all night long.

We must insist that the weed act is finely tuned. If it is, it will ease the strain in urban areas. Hopefully destitute individuals who resort to stealing to survive will find an end in growing a little weed, or selling it. Freeing up the weed should make urban neighborhoods more relaxed, and that will lead to the reopening of small panades shops that remain opened late into the night.

In the “For God’s sakes, stop it!” category

This story on social media—my congratulations to these gay dads who took six siblings out of a foster home so they could be raised together—my that’s great, except that if your love were true you would have placed them in a regular home, with a real mom and dad, and supported them financially. Many regular couples would adopt children if they had the funds; in fact, many regular people wouldn’t put up their children for adoption if they had the funds to support them.

You are so right, guys, but so wrong. Hey, no one can have everything that they want in this world. If you doubt that, make it a hobby to look up people who you think have it all and ask them about it. You gay dads and “moms” can get your satisfaction, from a distance. There are no perfect people in this world; we all have some issue or other, but we should all try to do our best. Playing mommy and daddy with the children isn’t the best situation for them. A whole lot of love to you guys, much love, but you got a whole half of this thing wrong.

These honorary doctors have their place

No one raised an eyebrow when former prime minister, Sir Manuel Esquivel got an honorary doctorate from Loyola University in New Orleans, where he had gotten a Bachelor’s in Physics when he was a young man, but there was much surprise when Dr. Louis Zabaneh, I’m pretty sure it was he, had Galen bestow an honorary doctorate on Mr. Rene Villanueva. Really? For what, being rich? We all know where Rene got his A: being nice to the establishment. My, that Dr. Rene thing cut into Dr. Manuel’s parade. Naa, it didn’t. The honor was nearly all Loyola’s to bestow the honorary on our second PM.

Whoa there, in the Olympics the judges use a numbering system to grade the performance of athletes in certain sports. In gymnastics, 10, the highest score, is rarely given, because if someone comes along and performs better in the judges’ estimation than someone they gave a 10, well, there’s no 10 plus.

Galen also gave out an honorary doctorate to Don Hector, and in his case Galen didn’t lose points because Don Hector is the last of the self-government Mohicans. He has the great positives of contributing much from all his experiences, and he goes on a limb on issues that he sincerely feels could hurt our beloved country. I hope he doesn’t drink whiskey, or wine.

Well, the hoal ting tohn oava recently, and I’m not talking about a university in Taiwan conferring the honorary on our present Prime Minister. The PM has a BA since 1985; he has held the second highest office in our country, and he now holds the highest office in the land. Bam, the fan got hit by something when our new leader of the opposition raced off and got himself his own honorary doctorate.

There really can be too much of a good thing. Dr. VonderBrink, on Quora, says “It is not customary for honorary degree recipients to use the title, however, and if you try to, people who have a real doctorate will laugh behind your back.” But let’s leave him out. He’s too cruel. The University of Brighton says, “Honorary graduates shall be advised that recipients of an honorary degree may use the approved designatory letters after their names; Hon DArts, Hon DEng, Hon LLD Hon DLitt, Hon DSc, Hon DTech. It is not customary, however, for recipients of an honorary doctorate to use the title ‘Dr.’ in front of their name.”

Of course, you can write me off as being envious because I haven’t yet reached JP. But if you’re objective, you’ll daam well see what I mean.