Monday, February 24, 2025 at 11:17 PM
“She has the right to her own gaze, her own experience of the world.” That was the description of Ginevre de’ Benci, a well-known Florentine young woman, whose portrait was painted by Leonardo da Vinci in the 15th century. It is one of the few paintings where the woman is looking straight ahead, instead of being painted in profile, which was the norm at a time when women were still considered property. The painting is beautiful in its detail of her facial expression, especially her gaze, which seems indifferent to the world around her.
It wasn’t the painting that got to me; that was incidental. It was the above description of her gaze that touched me deeply. As a former misogynist myself, I can relate to that quote. I realize that my younger self was totally unaware of my ex’s feelings about decisions and actions that were made by me, without first consulting her. I took that “honor and obey” nonsense in those vows we took when we got married, as license to dominate. I hope that they don’t have that disgusting and inappropriate line in wedding ceremonies anymore.
I have two daughters who have kept their maiden names as a sign that they are not giving up their rights as human beings, and are not extensions of their spouses. I remember being the one who named my children, so totally unfair and disrespectful to the person who carried them for nine months, and who would be the one shouldering much of the work regarding their upbringing. No woman should have to give up her maiden name, unless she wants to, which is perfectly acceptable, in my view; but it should be her choice.
She does have the right to her own gaze, meaning her right to her own opinion, to see things in her own way. We are at a point in history where we are turning our backs on the qualifications and sacrifices of women, especially in the United States, where we should know better. They are stronger and smarter than us men; not physically, but in all other aspects of daily life. They are better politicians and managers because of all this, and also because they are usually much more empathetic than we are, in my view.
I’m not saying that women should dominate. There should be no dominance in any relationship; it should be an equal partnership, where respect is the key! Not only in a personal relationship, but in the workplace, and in society as a whole. We have an administration in Washington that does not respect women or their rights. And they are unabashed in letting everyone know that women don’t count. Wat a ting!
In Belize, and in most societies these days, women are secondary, not taken seriously, and are seen as inferior. In France, men raped women on a regular basis and weren’t prosecuted for centuries, until recently, when women found their voices and began to fight back. It is a universal truth that women are still victims of domestic violence, abuse, disrespect and discrimination. Or they are treated as fragile ornaments, when in truth they are anything but.
As a society, we have to respect a woman’s right to have her own gaze, her own experience of the world. It is way overdue, and I believe that it will make us all better citizens of the world. We can’t live without them, but they can thrive and survive without us, easily so!
Glen