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Thursday, December 5, 2019
Home Features Bye, bye, one heroine; welcome to the new girl …

Bye, bye, one heroine; welcome to the new girl …

… who I must say is just in time to get us prepared to defend ourselves from the horrible flu season that is now here. I guess that in this politics bizniz it is all about numbers, and the numbers who supported Ms. Dolores for what the philistines at Wave condemned her for, must not be as significant as the crowd who endorse appearances over good health. Politics in Belize has nothing to do with principle: everything is about getting elected.

Did I call the Wave, “philistines”? They are that, sometimes. They are no Garifuna teachers. They are not about education; they are only about what is good for their party. As government they should realize that sick people are not as productive as healthy people, that a healthy population is best for the economy. Bah, down the drain they sent a great initiative to make our nation become more health conscious.

You have to be thinking party before country to say a female politician in the other party is scornful because she is not too much into hugging and kissing babies, and shaking the hands of who-knows-where-they-have-been men. Hmm, the sense I have is that I got smacked by Ms. Dolores because she is not guilty of what the Wave says is a crime. I will not call my former heroine a criminal because she does what Wave said she did not do, but I will tell her that what I thought she was, a hygiene hound, made her a trail blazer, and yes, my kind of candidate.

In the political world there are gullible people who think the slick politician is their friend because they smile with them, or shake their hand, or kiss their children. Nyet, the one who loves you delivers the goods, not hugs.

I say that scornful is best, and you shouldn’t have to be a person like me to see the virtue. Ai, one of the things that dogged me in my childhood was weak tonsils. My mom spent a lot of nights nursing me, and I knew at least one doctor by name. The influenza is bad by itself, but my mom put her foot down on me going out to play when I had the cold and fever and sore throat, and that made it worse. Braa, it is better to be scornful than to be sick. If my nose naat di run, I will try to avoid people, and if your nose naat di run, you should try to avoid me, and other people too.

My daughter says she doesn’t like to be on a bus I’m on, because when I sneeze I rattle the windows. I will sneeze in the morning, usually a set of three. I almost always have my hanky, okay, my handkerchief, at the ready, but it’s not enough to sufficiently muffle the sound. I sneeze loud and I talk loud, and that’s physiological.

I’ve tried the recommendation to sneeze in your sleeve. Ouch, I sneeze too vigorously for that. When I sneeze I have to steel my body, tighten every muscle, or I could aggravate numerous old wounds in my torso. I had neck spasms for a couple weeks after I sneezed in my sleeve.

I learned something about fighting colds and the terrible sore throat that might be useful. I never eat or drink after I’ve brushed my teeth in the night. My childhood habit on the brushing of teeth wasn’t worthy of emulation. I wasn’t regular. The same way I wasn’t regular on bathing when I was young, and now I can’t sleep if I don’t have a good fresh before I go to bed; now I am a regular brusher, even though it’s too late to save my teeth. I do it because it is good to fight sore throat. If your tonsils are suspect, never have food or drink after brushing.

I’m not good enough for a poster, but I keep my nastinis to myself. Let’s be friends: I don’t want yours and you don’t want mine. Hey, you shouldn’t be too scared of sitting in a seat in the bus that I have sat in and you don’t have to be too scared of going to the bathroom after I’ve been there either, because sometimes I like the second commandment.

Ah, like most men I think that God knew what He was about when He made the female form, so when I’m watching a movie and the nice girl goes to the bathroom I want her to leave the door open if she goes there for a bath. If she heads toward the ceramics in the corner, not only do I holler, shet the door, please shet the door, I change channels. There is nothing that can reduce a beautiful woman faster than putting her in the bathroom and steering her away from the shower.

If someone is your friend, they won’t shake your hand if they have something communicable. A friend who hugs your children or baby, knowing that they are sick with something communicable, has to be told to walk, or accept lessons about preventing the spread of disease. The handshake definitely has to be replaced with the fist bump. Let us stop being naive about health things. The more our population increases, the harder we have to fight communicable diseases.

Some of our old ways of expressing love are still plenty good. A handshake for a friend of the soft sex is usually safe and that’s because they, being child nurturers, are naturally more concerned about hygiene. Don’t worry, they are going to wash their hands after rubbing palms with you without needing anyone to remind them that they have no idea where your hand has been.

A brief abrazo between males is safe territory. Good morning and good evening are good and necessary for most everyone you meet. Bah, where the former heroine is concerned, I felt proud following her lead. What a pity the Wave philistines got to her.

Communicable diseases are nothing to play with, and in 2019 anyone who doesn’t know that ought to get a cuff in the head. These politicians who are kissy-kissy with the babies, and want to shake everybody’s hand, they could pick up things and spread it.

We should practice good hygiene from now; we shouldn’t wait for another scare like the bird flu. Dengue is bad, but that can be handled. Communicable diseases have wiped out hundreds of millions. Influenza helped our European ancestors wipe out our Native American ancestors more than their metal weapons and deviousness did.

Our new poster girl, just in time to save us, I wish I had some good advice for her so she could cure her dad from a definite pyromaniac tendency. A lot of my generation and all of the generations before mine have the fire fascination. Indeed, fire lighting was one of the activities back in the day. It wasn’t outlawed in the city and towns to heap up the rubbish and put a match. Our people did some cooking outside, on the faiyahaat, even in the city and the towns.

Boy, the evening fire was an event. We threw brambl on the heap and everyone would get excited to see the sparks fly off the coconut fronds, and those with true pyro tendencies would throw stuff, like aerosol cans, just to hear the “poof” when they burst.

Dr. A. Joseph, our new heroine, says in her column in The Reporter that she insisted that people who were coughing in the hospital waiting room get a face mask, and some people (who must have been educated by Wave) described her as “scornful”. We should say “Thank God” that Dr. Joseph isn’t in the political game at this time, because such a charge might frighten her away, like it did our former leader. The sense I got from the doctor is that she did not back down, and she isn’t going to.

I think that when you’re in a fight for a good cause you will accept support from almost everywhere you get it, so, for what it’s worth, Dear Doctor, you are not alone. Philistines ku seh weh dehn waahn: Belize needs to fight communicable diseases.

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