by Colin Hyde

There’s nothing that can grab the attention of little people like salacious business, and I was drawn in like a moth to a flame when I landed on a little documentary about a “lady” named Catherine the Great, a famous Russian czarina of the 1800s. My gudnis, that lady had some sexual appetite, and little shame about her game. Well, on the shame part, the story did say she had little corridors so she could funnel her lovers through to her boudoir with a little discretion.

This great Catherine had a maid who tested her prospective paramours, just like monkeys and “lesser” human beings tasted the food of kings to make sure it wasn’t poisoned. Once the maid said ih great, well, as Lord Laro sang, di man get ih certificate an di romping wid di queen begin. They said this Catherine had to get satisfied a whopping SIX times for the day! You see why she needed many lovers. If a man doesn’t get worn out, he for hell sure will get bored.

Now, there’s this very bad thing about stereotype and stigma. Ever since I learned that these people in the north only had a bath once a year (it could be a lie), romance among ancient white folk doesn’t hold my attention for long. In the movies, the ladies look clean and sweet-smelling when they enter into the trysts, but I have to put effort into blotting from my mind all thoughts of stale sweat and months of grime and maybe rotting food remnants like what was in Blackbeard’s, beard. Whoa there, a mind is a terrible thing when it is poisoned.

Romance and practicality

You get a sense listening to some of those talking against the government’s decision to move the Saudi-sponsored hospital from UB to the GCP roadside, that a part of their motivation is the romance of having the hospital in the womb of the capital. If Belmopan had a negative mantra, it would be, ehm, no longer a suburb of Roaring Creek. It’s a fierce little set, those Belmopanese, very defensive about their turf. I know the crowd well. In that place I am no kohn ya. I bet if the Minister of Health had been Belmopanese he would have been slower about approving the hospital move to the periphery, as near as you can get to not being in Belmopan.

The Minister of Health, Kevin Bernard, from OW, is the reported architect of the move, and I suspect the blowback would have been less harsh if he hadn’t led his department to switch from BTL to Smart. We all knew when we elected a party with John Briceño at its head that we would be getting a PM with hooks in him from Smart (his family controls 20% of the company), and tentacles/talons on/in him from the party’s main financier, who happens to own the other 80%. Kevin sounds sincere when he speaks about moving the hospital. But credibility is a hell of a thing. Every government minister who buys into the logic that switching to Smart is good for Belize gets a minus mark on their ledger.

There’s no romance in some senior personnel in the Health Ministry who support the move. The Director of Health Services, Dr. Jorge Polanco, has been in public health for some time, and he’s gained our trust over the years, with a bonus after helping to bring us through the pandemic. We’ll question his ideas, but not his sincerity. Dr. Polanco and Ms. Lizbett Bell, the Chief Nursing Officer – you don’t become CNO overnight, you have to come through the ranks – are both for changing the site of the hospital, mainly because they think the UB site isn’t that accessible.

UB’s Dr. Johnson, a quite famous surgeon, had spoken at length on XTV’s WuB about UB’s vision, but that was prior to the decision to switch sites. Moving the university to the edge of the GCP highway doesn’t take it out of the orbit of UB. The Amandala said that while UB President Dr. Vincent Palacio wasn’t happy when he learned that the new teaching hospital wouldn’t be located on the university’s compound anymore, he said he accepted the reasoning of government officials, said he was assured that UB will “still have authority over training at the hospital”, and that he was satisfied as long as it will still be a university hospital.

On the matter of practicality, it’s really about what medical professionals in the public sphere have to say. For Belizeans from the south, west, and east who will work or study at the hospital or go there as patients, it’s a whitewash for GCP roadside over UB. GCP roadside is directly on the bus routes. For people accessing the hospital from the east it would be smooth and safe if they travel a half mile down, to the Barrow multi-color fountains, and do the roundabout and go back up. For people coming from the west and south, it’s directly up their alley.

A family member who is interested in assisting a student from Belize City who is going to UB, learned that apart from traveling costs to and from Belmopan, there is also the fare from the bus terminal to and from UB. I expect students in the medical field who live on the south and east sides of the Ring Road are partial to the hospital being placed near to UB. I can’t think of any other students who would prefer the ‘pan jungle. We have to be realistic here. Traveling costs are a huge drag in a country, which doesn’t produce vehicles, vehicle parts, or fuel. If we include the extra traveling time, then it’s game, set, and match for Polanco.

Turning to this deep smell issue, I’m not sure it is the concern that detractors of the GCP move are making it out to be. For years I travelled the GCP between the Hummingbird junction and Belize City regularly, and not once have I smelled sewer while going that way. The naysayers have said that there’s only a 5-acre plot between the sewer ponds and the new government parcels. If that 5-acre parcel is square, it would be about 155 yards wide. North of that is the first 7-or so acre parcel, and if that is square it is 185 yards wide. So then, the west perimeter of the second 7-or so-acre parcel would be 330 yards, the length of 3 football fields from the sewer ponds. If the hospital was placed at the north end of this parcel, it would be 500 yards north of the ponds. If we wanted an honest stench report, the people at the entertainment center across the highway would be more reliable than those who live in Cohune Walk.

My gudnis, property values in the Cohune Walk area have been shot to hell in this discussion. Why were lands opened in that area for housing? Shouldn’t the area in the immediate vicinity of the ponds have remained in jungle? When the first person started building, didn’t they notice that the air wasn’t fresh? My, and Belmopan has so much land to the north, east, and farther south and west!

In respect to the owner and the license to subdivide, that’s a prize from LUA, the “Land Subdivision and Utilization Authority”, an expert body that comprises some highly qualified people in public employ, under the chairmanship of the Lands Commissioner. I expect that because of the proximity to Cohune Walk it was inevitable that these parcels were considered residential, that they would end up in lots. Aha, back in 2022 when the LUA agreed to this subdivision, was the PUP already thinking about this 2024 mischief? You can’t put anything past that crowd.

There are little “crevices” to explore, but keep in mind that under the present laws every time we go to court we get wap. You know it should be law that there should be a caveat (pass it retroactively) on any land sold by a public body, ReConDev or Natural Resources. If the public body/government discovers need to get it back, there should be considerable, ehm, consideration.