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Home Features People from Hollywood, like Miss Markle, messing up the world

People from Hollywood, like Miss Markle, messing up the world

This Hollywood girl, Miss Meghan Markle, we have every right to castigate her for taking a job that she must have known her cloth wasn’t cut for. American girls have never been queen/princess material. They are a very rich people, but too daam absorbed with rudeness to measure up. I don’t know about you, but I’ve heard little phrases thrown that Miss Markle felt that some racism was going her way. Really!

Of course race issues must have made some situations not all that comfortable. Stories abound that the Duke of Edinburgh has suspicions about people who aren’t white. The man has got some morsels, but I tend to see him as unenlightened. Check these out:

• “You managed not to get eaten then?” the Prince asked a British student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea, in 1998.

• “If it has four legs and it is not a chair, if it has two wings and flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.” — again with the Chinese insults, when he addressed a World Wildlife Fund meeting in 1986.

If you’re in the mood for fun, Google “25 things Prince Philip said that will make you full-body cringe” at mashable.com, and “The priceless racism of the Duke of Edinburgh” at aljazeera.com.

In Belize we give a lot of slack to older folk, so we didn’t give a daam about the Duke’s faults when he visited our shores in 1975. My good friend, Gaspar Martinez, told me his class recited this fantastic bit of poetry, author unknown (or the poem is unclaimed), when he came. I can’t recall if I shared this gem before, but if so, some things get sweeter with time. Hope I have it all right:

He came, he saw, he conquered the hearts and minds of all the humble people of this fair land; a living, breathing duke, a true prince, charming in the very flesh; oh how the ladies cheered his handsomeness; how men admired his Spartan-like physique; all hail, most noble duke, and hear this plea; whenever you return, a traveler keen, oh please do bring us, our beloved queen.

(Online royal notes say the Duke later came with our queen in 1985 and 1994, and he visited us in 1988 in his capacity as president of the World Wide Fund for Nature.)

It might have been some culture shock for the aging duke when his grandson sired a baby that wasn’t all white, but I don’t believe he was the cause of any racial tension. If he was, heck, you can’t expect a man to make a 180 degree turn in just a couple of years. And, Miss Duchess Markle, the man being in and out of hospital since you got to Buckingham, don’t you think you should have given him a pass?

I’ve heard that the real beef on the color score is with the British media, and I really shouldn’t try and find anything good in them, not after the feature for the dinner we served the Queen was gibnat, our most prized game meat, and those bohgaz got cute and said our special dish was “royal rat.”

But I’m not good at holding grudge. Hmm, I can just imagine that sincere elements and closet racists of the British media who tried to be better human beings must have had a real tough time keeping on their Ps and Qs so that they didn’t get daubed with the “prejudice” brush.

If the Queen keeps a diary I bet there’s a note there that says, “Pray God that this marriage works”, and another note that says, “I don’t know how”. You bet the Queen is some astute woman, and restrained, or she couldn’t have sat nearly seventy years on the throne without personal scandal. Forgive my warpage of Kipling, but if you can keep your head when you are surrounded with so many wild peepl, you’ve got to be the real deal.

No, I don’t believe the Queen gave too much odds that the American girl would hold up. What in heck made Miss Markle feel she could handle the job? American money keeps fooling them. The American nouveau riche have never had the class and the endurance of British old money.

My, Queen E must have prayed hard for her grandson’s sake, and she must be praying harder for him now. The boy’s mom didn’t have the fiber to last at Buckingham, and now his spouse is a letdown too.

There are other people who didn’t last at Buckingham. Remember Edward the 8th? This young man became king, but he was seduced, daam, by an American girl, Wallis Simpson (a divorcee), and he was forced to abdicate the throne in order to marry her (because of her divorced status).

If I didn’t tell you that these Americans have no class, well, they don’t. This woman put herself over all the British people. Don’t blame Edward: it is true that he wasn’t fascinated by being king, but the story we must not lose sight of here is that the woman had his heart! Ehm, the British have never forgotten this insult. The Americans, they call this tragedy a great romance.

Life is a labyrinth, so many twists and turns. Queen E could never hate Markle, because it was thanks to the treachery of a woman from her country, Miss Simpson, that she ended up becoming queen. See, when the selfish Simpson lady, a double divorcee, stole young Edward, his younger brother became King George VI, and when he died, in 1952, his daughter, niece of Edward VIII, became Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom, Belize, and a lot of other places.

The Queen is the picture of perfect virtue, but she is not intolerant of wild kinds. Her baby sister, Princess Margaret, was considered a rebel girl, a party lady who drank, ooh, and smoked, ooh. No surprise, Princess Margaret, a lady with a number of flings in her time, married a non-royal. If you want to know more about her marriage, just Google the Mighty Sparrow’s song: “The Princess and the Cameraman.” I mean no offense to the memory of wonderful Princess Margaret, who visited our country in 1958 and gave Belize City’s Princess Margaret Drive its name, but when yu wild, yu wild.

Don’t let Miss Meghan Markle’s family off the hook. They are not the kind you want to write home about. The dad, he looks like the kind of guy who slugs beer and eats food cooked in hog lard. Markle’s sister is the poster girl for the jealous kind. There was an outside chance that the fragile Markle could have lived up to royal duties, at least she might have held a good upper lip a while longer, but when you have family like hers, life is one sick dramatic event after another.

Thinking on it, I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out that the Queen asked the couple to take a vacation from their duties, just so she could rid her palace and phone lines of the riff raff relatives of her grandson’s wife. True stories are sometimes the hardest to believe, so don’t think for sure it ain’t so. Here, I have a real life example that proves it could be so because it happened so before.

My aunt told me that one of my great-great-grandmothers gave up her home comforts and put herself in the poor house. My aunt says her family pleaded with granny to stay, to not go, but she packed her bags and ordered them to deliver her to the public home. Our granny didn’t leave home because she was having problems with the family with whom she lived: her problem was with her half-brother, a drunk and romperajo. Whenever he came a-visiting his sister, there was ruction, house ton oava, and my great granny said the only way to make the nonsense end was for her to leave.

Anyway, what we have for sure is that the Queen very nicely gave her grandson and Miss Markle every opportunity to make good, and I can’t let it go, especially because she is an American, from Hollywood. I like some of the movies but I don’t like the way they behave.

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