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Queen E didn’t tell them to play ball

FeaturesQueen E didn’t tell them to play ball

by Colin Hyde

We are British, yes we are…well no, when we were subjects, maybe, but definitely not now, since we became independent in 1981. Of course, who wears the crown is still the head of Belize, but that’s titular, as it goes to the day-to-day running of our internal affairs. But don’t underestimate the weight of that crown in the big scheme. It’s a declaration to the world which bomb we’re going to call. Of course, we pay for it, but the price is small, except when we aren’t smart. I could tell you when we weren’t smart, but that would take us away from Queen E, the star of this piece, so we’ll let that story lie.

The Queen was blessed with years, 96 of them. That’s 20 years beyond the average life span in countries with the best health care. Her old dad, King George VI, he only got 56. If he had been born in the time in which we live, with all the money he had in his bank account he could have bought many more moons to gaze at. Hmm, in this longevity game, Queen E’s mom, wow, she got all of 101. It’s a man’s world, but women live much longer. It’s good that the Queen had such a long life, because she has been sterling in her many leadership roles.

Immediately after the Queen died, some media were announcing that the entire mourning period and interment would cost the British billions because a lot of activities would be shut down during the 10 or so days until the funeral. But they were making that assumption based on what had happened in the past. It’s like 70 years since a monarch in the UK died, and much has changed since then. I read a story in the Guardian (UK) which said the British were called on to tone it down, but to carry on mostly as usual.

That’s why it was such a stunner that British football shut down this weekend. I bet if Queen E had known they’d go to that extreme to show reverence on her passing, she would have left a message for them, to play. This is the time when you know who is pagan and who’s a believer. Don’t those Satan worshippers and misguided souls know that the Queen is now in the best seat in the stadium?

There was talk that the funeral would be on the 18th, the day we honor our patriots and hold the national awards ceremony, but an official announcement a few days ago said it would be on the 19th, which is the date the Father of the Nation died and our National Service Day. Belize has to think how to honor Price’s memory and show respect for the Queen on the same day.

If the Queen was a young one, there’d be some real mourning, but for a 96-year-old there’ll be a lot of celebration in the ceremony. Wow, both of those guys lived long, full lives, and both are deserving of maximum respect — Price, our first leader, and the Queen, the leader of the Commonwealth and our head of state.

There are protocols in place for the reverencing of deceased dignitaries, but our leaders really will have to be dusting off some old books to find out how to handle this one. It isn’t very often, nooo, that we bury the Queen of Belize on the same day we honor the memory of the Father of the Nation.

Anybody but Price

The Queen’s passing didn’t make Francis pause from declaring his position on this ill-thought out charge for us to move away from the Crown as the head of state. Ah, we all listened to Francis’s speech on St. George’s Caye Day, how he quoted Fanon and all that. I will say he wasn’t as bold in his speech there as he was about his support for the JC, Patrick Rogers, Bill Lindo position, at least I can’t say that until I’ve passed this Battle speech through my fine-tooth comb.

Hmm, I bet what Francis had to say resounded in Freetown, the division he inherited from George Price, via Jorge Espat, via a blunder by Pehreh, because the PUPs have long envisioned the face of Price on our money.

We’re no fools here. All this talk from Francis about us becoming a republic, about us removing the Crown as the head of state, it’s all to get Price on our dollar. Those PUP bohgaz, yap, have been dreaming of that since 1949!

Well, I think that is a bad, terrible idea, and I’m not saying that just as an NIP holding old beef. Putting Price on the money doesn’t make sense. For starters, the man hated money. Price’s life was a statement of rejection of the material trappings of this world, the things people labor to get money to buy. When he traveled abroad he carried his clothes in a carton box instead of a name-brand valise. He didn’t change vehicles every year. He promoted pupsi, kraana and green plantain as staples for our midday meals. He never threw away a piece of paper that had an unused side. He painted his house gray, the color of poverty.

The next reason, maybe the biggest reason we don’t want Price on our money is because we don’t want his lookalike Henry Charles to be getting any ideas. Henry Charles is way too full of himself already, and that would swell him up even more. I have a thing or two to say to Henry Charles, for taking a bill to the House with a super majority and fumbling the ball, getting declared out of bounds. But let’s stick with the money. I don’t have much of it, but whatever I have must be safe from him. It’s his granduncle’s bad luck to have a doppleganger nephew. Otherwise, if not for the NIP thing I, ehm, might say hip, hip, hooray!

Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus said it

Nobody had the-you-know-what to say it, definitely nobody here, but Tedros, the head of WHO, wasn’t afraid, because his business is to protect the world from dangerous diseases.

Annabelle Timsit and Dan Diamond wrote in a July story in the Washington Post that Tedros had “suggested that men who have sex with men temporarily limit their number of sexual partners while monkeypox cases increase within their community.” Hmm, you shouldn’t suffocate the truth if people need to know.

Stephanie Soucheray, in a story published in CIDRAP News titled “Monkeypox cases reach 7,500 in US; 99% of cases in males”, said data from the CDC showed “99% of monkeypox cases in the United States are in males, and 94% of cases report recent male-to-male sexual or intimate contact.” The story goes on to list gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men as disproportionately affected by the disease, and discusses the potential of an available vaccine.

Everyone can get monkeypox if they are exposed to an infected person, and the measures we took/take to reduce our exposure to Covid-19 will help us avoid this new disease that for a time was threatening to become a pandemic, but seems to have subsided. We’re not out of the woods. We learnt a lot during the pandemic, about how dangerous viruses can be, how easily they mutate and increase in virulence.

So, why was it Tedros alone who zeroed in on where the greatest problem was, and pleaded with them to stay out of the closet for a while? Are even big people scared to tell gay men to stop what they’re doing? They aren’t an essential service. The world’s population won’t dip if they keep on the straight and narrow.

My, don’t gay men feel any responsibility to be their brothers’ keeper? And it’s for their sakes too! Fu you, fu me, fu all a we, stay away from that closet, Braa.

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