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Thursday, August 13, 2020
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Sedi playing at leader maker

I already told you that Sedi is no longer ready, for if he was, he wouldn’t be losing all these cases. In his youth, Sedi was invincible, and in his old age he is being battered, kicked around like ball on field. If I come over mean, forgive me, it’s only an effort to be truthful about what has happened to the gentleman’s cerebral powers, how it has eroded, naturally, because of inexorable Father Time.

Oh no, I absolutely don’t like to see him being pummeled in the courts by foreigners. Atta dehn noh smaata than we! We really must stop being taffi for people with American or Turks & Caicos passports. Of course, they are human beings, and so deserve to be loved, but they shouldn’t be getting the better of us, and they definitely shouldn’t be taking away the little chum out of the pockets of our people.

It’s likely that Sedi isn’t really interested in winning on July 12. He could be in the race just to represent the few faces in the UDP who aren’t bowing to every whim of the LGBT. Oh boy, when we were young we thought that only the devil PUP had full sympathy and encouragement for that gang.

He’s a complex person, that Honorable Sedi Elrington, with a strange take on some things. Everyone knows the Jim Waight/Henry Fairweather line between Belize and Guatemala is replete with waterfalls, turbid waters, cement pillars, and cairns, but through his lenses all he saw was artificial. Ai, that Mr. Sedi Elrington, he’s way on a different page!

Really, he’s in the race, but very few people believe that he has a great ambition to be leader. We see old, tired horses mixing it up in the USA, but that stage of men are what Brother Paul Rodriguez says are more apt for an elected Senate. I suspect our hero is only there for the straight face and, for a little intrigue, to shift the balance to the leadership of his choice.

Ah, for all that, it’s not impossible that he could leapfrog them all and become leader of the UDP, bah, and leader of the nation, wow, because two adversaries have called it quits and the other two, well, one of them pops windshields and drives cars into the sea, like boat, and the other apparently didn’t grow up on the adage, show me your friends and I’ll show you are, but on the song, if you’ve got the money, I can use a campaign contribution.

When a roar of approval went up at Bel China

Don’t ask me what I was doing in Belize City, and why I happened to pass by Bel China well into the evening, one evening. Some things are providence, and we should be grateful instead of asking nosy questions all the time. So, I was passing by the UDP headquarters, and I just couldn’t continue walking on by after I heard some popular voices coming from the top floor. Of course, my inquisitiveness got the better of me. I won’t say it out loud, but in my heart of hearts I dream of being the first with the news, and to express my opinion on it.

I don’t think I was guilty of a crime to stop and hear. In fact, if there was any guilt, it was on the part of the crowd in the UDP headquarters, because what they were saying was not being held back by the walls, a clear infraction of our noise codes. Ah, I could hear everything, and pretty soon I realized that I had happened upon a scene that many would have paid to be in my shoes to see. It was the five candidates who were running to be the leader of the corrupt People’s Unite…I mean, the teefing UDP.

I expect that the five were sitting together on a stage, as if they were in a beauty or muscleman contest. That said, I heard a voice which sounded like the person who had the post that Vaughn Gill will want to have if the PUP pulls off a victory in the next election.

The mouth that spoke next was definitely Pere’s. He ran on and on about how the five candidates should conduct themselves at the convention, how they should bow every time they pass Barrow, and if they weren’t too tired after bowing to Barrow they should bow to him too, because he has been doing all the work of those shiftless, self-seeking bohgaz during the pandemic. (Just a reminder — if you are viewing this as literal — that I’m being satirical here.)

Ah, next came the speeches of the five, and I have to say they weren’t uninspiring. Yes, I was impressed by the five men and all the good things they had in store for the country if they got the nod. I know, I know, it is hard to believe what I am telling you, hard to believe after all the UDP has done to ruin the country since we were foolish enough to give them the controls in 2008.

I say, I would have questioned my ears too, if I wasn’t there hearing them loud and clear, and I can swear that the five were the five who were set to face off on July 12, because ever since the COVID-19 I have had an increased capacity to put voice to face, that being the only way you know old friends when you come upon them with their masks covering their faces all the way up to their noses.

You could have heard a pin drop throughout most of the speeches, and at the end of each there was mild applause interspersed with a few, “you’re the man for us”, and “daam all PUP”, and “there’ll never be another team like Barrow & Finnegan”, and other various such.
Personally, I thought for the most part the evening was very encouraging, even though it was a big disappointment in audience energy, quite lacking in decibels. I know that if I’d walked away then, there’d have been no fiery red in my picture, only dismal grey and dull pastels.

Anyway, I know you trust me, so, I was getting all the news from the pre-convention, and all was trankeelo until a question and answer segment, when all hell broke loose and the full devilishness of this red party was exposed.

One of the candidates was giving all the right answers to a question, that is if you’re a Belizean, you know, more of the kinds of things we’d all want to hear from someone who aspires to lead our country, when I heard one of them at the back of the room yell at the hopeful: “we have had it to here with all the nonsense glitzy stuff about roads and telecommunications and what you and all the others will do to improve our economy. Now cut to the substance and tell us what you will do for the party.”

I swear the roar of approval that went up shook Bel China to its foundations. It seems like they all got up from their seats, and they were all hollering: “the paati, the paati, yes, what we want to hear about are the possibilities, for us, and that hope is alive, for us, and another UDP government will be a lot more of, ‘our turn’”.

I’m sorry I can’t tell you more, because when the greedy bunch clamored for more of their “turn,” my stomach turned wretchedly sour, and I ran as fast and as far as I could to escape the treason.

Well, well, 63!

On the night of the eve of my 18th birthday I got a bottle and went to a very lonesome place to chat with God about a decision I’d made and to entreat His help. After I spoke with Him I told Him that if He woke me up on my birthday and every day after that until I was 62, the significance of 62 being the extent of years God gave my maternal grandfather, I would need a lot of His grace and guidance to get by. Hey, I count my blessings each day and what do you know, 63!

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