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Friday, October 30, 2020
Home Features That local cheese is a worthy cousin to the foreign Dutch

That local cheese is a worthy cousin to the foreign Dutch

Brother Ernesto Torres emphasized that all knowledge is from God, so we should pass it on for free, same way we got it — okay, some people have to study hard, and they need the pay to cover their investment, but I did no work for this bit of knowledge so, received for free, I freely give.

Our Mennonite sisters and brothers – if you are going to talk machines, put these brothers first, and if you’re going to talk culinary, look for these sisters. Those politically correct people, unu stop di oava du it, please! Of course women can fix machines, and of course there are men who ku cook, but in the non-artificial world, the time before, the time when the world was real, men generally excelled in certain areas and women in others, and if it comes to pass that all the trappings fall away and we are living in that time again, the man will hunt the deer and prepare it, and the woman will season it and put it in the pot.

Cutting to the cheese, Spanish Lookout’s Western Dairies have four or more of those in the stores, and believe me when I tell you that the one that costs the least, cheapest by far, is the best one to make your egg and cheese. Off the top, the other cheeses cost 30% more, but the cheap one, with the label Natural Cheddar Cheese, and the name “Scharf”, that’s the one.

I know people who say the cheese is too sharp; they prefer the more costly Western Dairies cheddars, but for those of us who like pungency, the alpha of which is the Dutch that smells almost like glorious good bukut, take it from me the Scharf Cheddar is a worthy replacement, especially if you are hooked on egg and cheese.

A tip for all who love cheese: the Western Dairies’ cheddars are at their best when you take them out of the fridge about a half hour before you squeeze it between the bread.

The cooks of the EOB were rushing it

It is just incredible that the architects of the Equal Opportunities Bill and their many friends in government would seize our distraction by the pandemic to try and rush this thing through the House. The group behind the Bill did a few rounds to sell it, and after their few rounds we were to sift through their proposals, to help perfect the Bill.

Thank God for the church – nobody is all bad – yap, thanks to the church heroes for standing in the gap to put the brake on this locomotive that was coming down with the unseemly speed of the BTL Vesting Bill.

Really, Belizeans were just beginning to look at this Bill from all sides when we were hit by the pandemic.

I like my wild pig smell, not yours

Ah, when I’m alone and out in the sun sweating, I like to smell like a wild pig, but if you come around me smelling like one I’m out of your world until you wash yourself with some good sweet soap.

I grew up in the cities, Belize City and Belmopan, and the first time I met a wild pig I was already a mature fellow. I was doing some work at the farm when I caught the smell on the wind for the first time, and I immediately checked my armpit. That’s the smell of wild pig: hours of good sweat and no deodorant under your arm.

I love it; it makes me feel like I’m a real man. Oh no, no one should dream of bottling it, unless they are going to promote it for someone going into battle against a fearsome foe and they desperately need an edge.

I don’t put on deodorant at night because I want to allow my pores to free up, and I don’t wake up smelling like a wild hog because the last thing I do before I go to bed is bathe¯and I don’t take my machete or hammer with me. First thing in the morning, I reach for the tube of civilized smell, unless I have a day of physical labor on the itinerary.

Sometimes I forget and put on deodorant when my plan is to go out and sweat, and then I noh happy, because when I’m outdoors alone, working up a good lather, I feel so one with nature if I smell the part.

When I’m working with other folk, especially others who aren’t members of my family, I try to smell civilized. I expect the same from others. Don’t offend me, and I won’t offend you. Color me scornful, I don’t truck with people who smell like wild pig. But when I smell like one, I wallow in it. It makes me feel like a real man.

So, Barbados going Republic

I am putting this out before anyone out there lose dehnself wid excitement and forget that Barbados was a well-disciplined Anglophile nation with a high standard of living before they embarked on this journey to being a republic. They are, while Queen E is their titular head, a country worthy of respect. I am neither yay nor nay about their decision.

It is not a titular queen who is blocking us from fulfilling our possibilities. It is our leaders’ lack of character, their lack of love for their brothers and sisters, their chaansinis. A lot of these guys who enter the political arena get giddy when they are first past the post. If the next government insists on being second and third rate, I can see myself giving up and voting in the footsteps of Barbados. We go to the polls to vote for servants. We get pompous little gods filled with greed.

Tell those Europeans to kip dehn backside home

In 1492 the Europeans stumbled upon the Americas. It was not planned; they were looking for a route to China and India that didn’t pass through hostile tribes in the mountains. They had heard from the Africans about the Americas, but that wasn’t where they were going.

Ever since their discovery, the Europeans have invested in other types of exploration, first to go to the moon, which I suspect they haven’t reached yet. Yes, I think their moon landing is a grand hoax. Look, they can’t prove that dehn get deh and I can’t prove that they haven’t.

Hn, you have heard they’ve set their sights on other territories out there. Really, I shouldn’t have fear over these ambitions, because I know they faked reaching the orb that controls the behavior of humans, other animals, plants, and fishes too, but on the off chance, the one in a million chance that they did reach it, and the one in a billion chance that they can make it to Venus and Mars, I have to register my dismay for fear they might bring back some new diseases.

When the Europeans stumbled this way they brought with them some diseases that almost drove the people over here to extinction. This present pandemic we’re going through right now is small change compared to the decimation of the Inca, the Maya, the Aztec, the Carib, and the Plains Indians.

We know those greedy bohgaz are looking for gold, but it is also about that they are looking for other life. I have heard some of them say that if they find life out there it will prove that there is no God. What utter nonsense! Life on other planets might indeed be a blow to literal believers, but if they find a bear on Jupiter it will be no big surprise to the rest of us who have sense to know that someone bigger than we are, is behind the whole shebang.

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