May 5, 2010
The Editor
Amandala Press
Belize City
Dear Sir:
Kindly allow me space in your prestigious newspaper to express some thoughts on the issue of crime and a possible solution to this ever-increasing problem.
I applaud the Mayor of Belize City in her efforts to address the crime situation of Belize and it was certainly humbling of her to admit that the City Council cannot do this on their own but rather all relevant sectors of society needed to become involved to address the issue. What I am concerned with though, is this; do members of the sectors know what the root cause of crime really is?
We have seen many efforts before struggling in the quest to address crime but to no avail; the problem not only persists with the escalation of crime at an alarming rate and in an ever-increasing horrendous style, it has reached the point where it is no longer safe to take a simple casual walk along the seaside of Belize City like we used to do in days not too long ago, or to feel safe when one is out on unavoidable errands. Don’t even talk about going to the movies – for me that’s a no-no, simply because of the trepidation that a stray-way bullet “cud ketch mi.” It is just so troubling to see what our little jewel has come to.
The question is, how did we get here? How and what are the contributing factors that led us down this destructive path? These are the kinds of issues we need to brainstorm and do the research on in order to effectively arrive at some possible solutions. We as individuals in this nation of Belize need to understand that this issue is not something that we can avoid dealing with even if we have not been directly affected by crime.
So, no family member of mine has been killed, yet, so it is not my problem you say; wrong – it is a very major problem of yours and mine because you know what, it is only a matter of time before it reaches our doorstep, and this is what we should all try to avoid happening, not only to ourselves but to others as well. Want for my brother/sister what I want for myself. Isn’t this the golden rule? Well it seems that rule is not so golden anymore but has become rustic sitting on the shelf of time.
But back to those pertinent questions – what led us down this path and how can we regain some semblance of stability and safety in our communities once more? I was doing some research on the issue of communities and stability. What I found was that the number one contributing factor for the instability in communities that eventually leads to such violence (and ladies many of you won’t like the answer but I urge you to put aside your prejudices and skepticism and face this answer squarely in the face), to repeat, the number one answer was the fact that mothers are no longer mothering their children! There! I said it. That is what the research is saying and one does not even have to hit the books to determine that this might very well be true; one need only sit down with the elderly women in our communities and get their take on the issue. Wisdom abounds there in the brains of those little old people. I never cease to admire and look up to them.
I remember speaking with one elderly woman in particular about this issue of crime. Her name is Mrs. Evelyn Sanchez, a beautiful woman of eighty-five years living in the Port Loyola area. Ms. Evelyn made it quite clear that mothers are not doing an effective job of nurturing their children with the right values and attitudes today. She said that today’s mothers are so busy trying to make money to help take care of their children that she does not have the necessary time to effectively nurture her kids. What happens in the process is that the kids are mostly left on their own, or in the care of human babysitters who just ensure the children are fed and quickly cleaned before mommy or someone else arrives to pick them up; or worse some kids go home and stretch out in front of the television which becomes the babysitter! And God help those poor kids home alone with TV.
Everyone knows that there is no censor in TV-land to ensure that only quality and family oriented programs are shown during the daylight hours especially when children are most likely to be flipping channels. I have seen some of the vilest materials shown on cable TV during broad daylight hours. As a parent, I wonder sometimes if the cable providers have cable in their homes and if so, whether they have children of their own exposed to the filth they air during daylight hours, filth and violence that should only be shown after ten at night, at least, to be seen by those sorry souls who crave such ugliness. Don’t get me wrong – I am not against cable TV because that is where some very educational and informative programs can be found, but we are talking about unsupervised kids or those children of parents who might be at home but who are too tired to monitor what their children are viewing.
Many unsupervised children tend to mingle with and befriend the wrong company, and in so doing usually end up being influenced to do what is not good for them. At first it might appear to them to be quite harmless but eventually, the activities get more daring and soon the child is in the grips of evil not able to tell the difference between right and wrong anymore; yet, he/she is still a child but a child committing some of the most sickening acts. It would appear to the rest of us who are observing that the child is now a soulless being committing acts that were once the domain of a few out-of-order adults, mostly drunks or males fighting over property, or women. Some of us call for the death penalty for all and sundry committing the worse crimes but where were we when the children were growing up?
Today, many of the violent crimes are being committed by our children. Where were the parents? Where did the mother go after she gave birth to the child? Where was the father when his son was growing up and needed to be nurtured by him but more importantly, where was the mother? If the father is not around but the child has a diligent mother he/she will not fail. Where are the mothers, for God’s sake? Is it that mothers really do not have the time to nurture our children anymore? Are our outside-the-home activities so embedded in us that our children have become an afterthought?
These are the questions the Mayor and other sectors need to ponder and address. There is nothing more important in a community than the family. As a matter of fact a family is a microscopic sample of a community. A community is made up of families for better or for worse, whether those families are progressive and productive in society or not. It is not like we can say, you know what, you are not good enough so you are not a member of this community. If the family is not doing well and is ailing that is like your ailing body telling you that it needs serious attention or it will die. Systems must be put in place by the powers that be to ensure the sanctity and protection if the family and families need to include mom and dad, with mom being able to spend quality time with her children.
The concept of family today in Belize has eluded us for a while now. As a community, we need to refocus our energies on the importance of family and family life. It begins with the welfare of the women. If the women are not mentally and morally sound, if they continue to neglect their primary role of motherhood by putting everything else first, if they do not understand their role as women and mothers then that is where we need to begin. It will take a mighty effort to make a comeback but I truly believe that it is possible. There has to be a serious education campaign on the vital role of women in a family and by extension, in a society/community. Women are the bearers and nurturers of the children and family.
As far as all major sectors (business places, government offices, churches, etc.) are concerned, their role is to ensure that if they have women working for them, they need to have policies in place (and government can ensure this), where it is possible, for a nursing mother on staff to be able to take her very young baby to work to breastfeed when it is feeding time. Employers need to look after the welfare of their female employees for the benefit of their families, and by extension, the wider society. Babies need their mothers not only for 14 weeks after birth but for the rest of their lives, especially those of the formative years when they are most vulnerable.
It is said that when a woman is happy in her home, everyone is happy. The reverse is also true. It is said that hell in a home is where the unhappy woman is. Is it any wonder what is happening in our communities? We have a lot of unhappy women out there. In other words, we have hell in a lot of homes. No wonder our crime stats! Mothers are tired, unhappy and frustrated; they have no time for hugging, loving, chatting, and spending relaxed moments with the kids. That has gone through the roof. Ms. Mayor, you are a mother; you will be able to relate to this. We need to ensure that our mothers are not forced to go out to work if they prefer to stay at home and look after the welfare of their kids, but at the same time, if a mother so chooses to go out due to the economic factor, systems must be in place in the workplace to ensure her family’s wellbeing. As mothers we must understand that after God, nothing should come before our children. We are responsible for their being here, and as such, we owe it to them to ensure they are looked after and cared for as they grow. When we care for them as they grow, they will care for us as we age. And fathers, you are all important elements in the lives of your children. You create the balance. Children need their fathers desperately. I can recall being very close to my dad and had a very positive relationship with him and this made me grow up to be a confident woman, but it was my mom’s influence in my life that provided me with the necessary ingredients to become a woman in the fullest sense of the word.
Make our women happy, respected and secure, and we will have a happy and safe community once more in the near future. And mothers, let’s polish our role of motherhood. Let’s look after our children first and let’s get back the Belize that was once safe for our children to go to the corner shop to buy us a pack of bread. It can happen again but it is up to us, the mothers.
Yours in motherhood,
Lana Ahmad
(Ed. NOTE: All of the opinions expressed by the letter writer are not necessarily those of this newspaper.)