This past week leading up to the weekend was a very eventful one. Having just recently celebrated Women’s Month and getting ready to celebrate Mother’s Day, we once again find ourselves at the precipitous place where once again, abuse and issues relating to women are being brought to the forefront in our society. Useless of me to rename the issues that were brought to the forefront of late, as they are all plastered over the news and have been shared tens of thousands of times on various social media platforms. But what particularly stood out to me in these various instances of purported abuse and alleged violence against women is the wanton bias that is being proliferated and how the victims are being callously and ruthlessly revictimized, and it is imperative that we break the bias!

The first thing that struck me was how many people in open conversations and candidly on social media were repudiating the victims. The victims’ statements to the police alleging abuse were being staunchly criticized and brought into question. But more than that, our society is questioning the timing of the report in contrast to the period during which the alleged abuse took place. This is heartbreaking to witness, and it is painful to think that in the event of a report of abuse, we seek to blame and further question the victim and bring them into disrepute instead of supporting them during this difficult time and allowing due course to take place through the legal system.

This (bad) style that we have to question the validity of the victim’s statement or motives and seek to suggest some form of anomaly on the part of the victim is not only callous, but it is biased! The way that society reacts to these very heinous acts of violence against women is of grave concern, because it appears that we are condoning the alleged acts of violence on the part of the perpetrators. It is as if we as a society are granting them impunity for their alleged actions while blaming the victim before the matter has been properly examined through the court system. And to further compound this, adding salt to an already open wound, it has been observed that women are quick to condemn other women who are victims of violence as opposed to being empathetic towards their fellow women and supporting them through their plight.

This past weekend revealed how messed up we are as a society and it shed light as to why many women who are subjected to violence and abuse prefer to suffer in silence. They suffer in silence because this quick-to-judge society condemns them for speaking up, for staying too long, for loving the wrong man, and the list goes on. Yes! We condemn them for not knowing better and not being able to lick back. Oh what an atrocity it is that we blame the victims for everything imaginable in the books except to stand with them, denounce violence and call out the perpetrators for the egregious acts of abuse against our precious women.

Maan, I tell you, I was utterly disgusted to see on full display how our little society is such a biased and callous little place. It’s an utter disgrace to see that, with all our education and development, we are still backward to think that the victim is the reason why what happened to them, happened. It’s sad to see that grown men and women alike condone the heinous acts of violence and abuse by questioning the victims and casting aspersions on their statements and reports. Maan, I tell you, we are a sad set, I swear! And the sad truth is that when we behave in such a careless and abhorrent manner, we don’t make it conducive for victims to speak out. But more so, these callous actions and gaslighting statements that we make will cause these type of acts to continue to recur in our society. I say we get off the fence, call it out for what it is and take a bold and indignant stance against all forms of violence and abuse against women! It’s half past time we break the bias!

Unchained Reflections Of A Liberal Pragmatist.