It’s been three weeks now that I haven’t gotten a copy of the Reporter, and while I am comfortable living on only food and water, clothes and shelter, and a sheet to cover me from mosquitoes, my world is better when I have a full complement of local newspapers to peruse on the weekend. Since the state of emergency, the Reporter has apparently been available only online, and I can’t access it. You know, I keep a close eye on all that goes on in my country, for the purpose of kip people in check, so they don’t go rampant. Only heaven knows what is going on over there.

Three weeks and I haven’t read a Reporter editorial. Three weeks and I haven’t read any of their news pieces. Three weeks and I haven’t gotten a chance to learn anything from the medical side from Dr. Abigail Joseph, or gotten a sense of what these women are thinking through their affairs-of-the heart columnist. What about their editor, Mike Rudon? Is he still on the straight and narrow? I hope so. And three sakin weeks have gone by and I haven’t read anything from Major or Neri, nothing, nada, so I don’t know what those bohgaz are up to.

Before I go on to bash those two brothers, I want it known that I like those guys. That out of the way, that I like those brothers, let me say that I read the Belize Times and the Guardian from cover to cover every week, and I read (that must be read, in the past, for it’s been 3 weeks) the Reporter cover to cover too, and, let me get to my point: I look forward to reading Major and Neri, not only because I learn a lot from them¯BUT because I have to watch them very, very closely.

Both of those guys have big credentials. Major is a knowledgeable guy, and he’s a raging success story. I think his first name is Lloyd and his last name is Jones – you see how long I haven’t read the guy? – and he carries the title, Major, because he once held the lofty post of top guy in our army. Ah, he once headed the Port, Ports Commissioner. And oh, in 2015 the PUP suspended poor Bad Boy Arthur Saldivar and Major took over his job as standard bearer in Belize Rural North. For the record, incidentally, he lost in the general elections.

Ah, whenever I read Major I always do not forget about his ascension to contest the 2015 generals, it’s always at the back of my mind, and it’s also always in the back of my mind that he might have been a glove fit for the other big Ports job too.

Neri, also a raging success story, is a flat-out unabashed capitalist —shout it out from the mountain top, but, interestingly, he seems to have a pure soul. I really believe he has. You know we have a big contradiction here. Capitalist and soul absolutely don’t go together. You just met Doug Singh. He is a capitalist. Did he choose to bare his lack of soul to Aaron, or did he forget to hide the fact that he doesn’t have one? Capitalist and soul? Do oil and water mix? No!

I say, I learn a lot of the innards of our governments from Major Jones, so he can’t be my enemy, and Neri, he really is a good brother. Needless to say, I disagree with these guys sometimes, and I’m fretting like hell that they could be running amok now that I can’t get a copy of the Reporter.

You know the big deal why I have to keep close tabs on them. The big deal is that, like Troy Gabb and Doug Singh, Major Jones and Neri are no Sandinistas, they are flaming Capitalistas. Those types should have space to roam; everyone deserves a little space because God made us all, but capitalists should never have the run of the entire house. In the best of times they deserve a little space, and in the worst of times, like now, well, we will hear what they have to say, but we must keep them tied closely to the fence post.

Bah, I don’t know what Major or Neri are up to right now, but I suspect they are true to their spots, writing a lot of dangerous, rapacious, capitalist propaganda, spreading the philosophies only the rich, the famous, and the poor gullible adore, and here I am, unable to keep check on them, unable to keep them in check, because I’m locked out.

Junior Master of Games bullied medics

So, that eager AG Pere did not get the medical report right! The story from the subtle DHS is that the private/public thing in the medical world wasn’t our concern, and maybe not Pere’s bizniz either. Well, I’m not out to plaster him for the substantial slip. I am only about his wikidnis.

The great Brother Paul Morgan once accused me of not being timely, and my response to that was, well, not on time, but I never forget. How could Junior Master of Games, AG Pere, describe private doctors lending their invaluable expertise to the KHMH as the sick food disease called, double dipping? Double dippers are the worst, a filthy practice, very selfish people who can’t take their portion and go. My gudnis, our celebrated specialists checked for sticking their fingers twice in the pie!

You know that the young Pere was really a for-true bad boy. There was a time when if I was the leader of this country I would have thrown him in jail, him and his friends – Joe, Juliet, and Brian – for things they said and did. But it might have been a waste of good time because his lawyers would have gotten him off. If you’ve got the money, and more, if you belong to a big political party, yu gaan klayr in our country.

The biggest farce in the country is PUP leader Johnny Briceño promising to jail these UDP crooks. Hn, that’s a page straight out of Dean Barrow’s 2008 song book, and you know he and his crowd were only singing for the votes. You have to praise Said. He didn’t disrespect the people with a promise neither party has the political will to deliver. Please, Mr. PM—after-we-kick-Pere’s-crowd-out-of-office, please noh di tease wi wid throw any philistines da jail. As long as PUDP reigns, that is not going to happen.

I know how it would have played out if I were king and I had gone after Junior Master. This one is so simple, even I could tell you what would have been the defense if I had leaned on the police to bring him before the court for his past pronouncements and maybe deeds. Bad company, kiping bad company, that’s what his lawyer would have said. Pretty airtight case too. Anyone who hangs around with Joe, Juliet, and Brian is bound to slide.

Ouch, double dip, AG said the specialists will no longer be allowed to eat in two places. Bah, here we are, in long line for months praying for a chance for specialist attention, and Pere pulverizes this saintly practice with terms used to describe the most cruel food sin¯ih seh dehn haffu stop¯double dip.